Why Having an Affair with a Married Woman isn't a Very Bright Idea

The plethora of websites claiming to hitch you with a married woman is testimony to the fact that married dating is an inescapable fact in contemporary culture. While extramarital affairs have always existed alongside the institution of marriage, today the phenomenon appears to be far more open and accessible than before because of increasing anonymity in the social landscape as well as more choices in modes of communication. However despite websites that hook you up with married women, married affairs continue to have a high failure rate and here are some reasons why having an affair with a married woman isn’t a very smart idea.

Excessive secrecy can do you in

To begin with an obvious drawback of dating a married woman, you just can take her out anywhere. You will have to plan very meticulously how to meet or pick her up and where to go without the possibility of being seen by a familiar face. All this secrecy might seems delicious in the first few days and even add an element of ‘getting away with it’ that spices up your affair. However over time all this plotting and planning can build up a significant amount of stress. You cannot meet up or even call your lover simply because you feel like doing so. Instead of you have to go through a lot of hard work for just a couple of hours’ worth company and while this might seem exciting at first, eventually all the effort may not seem worth the while at all.

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She gets to call the shots

The married woman you are dating already has a home, a husband and probably a career as well as wonderful kids too. So it is natural that she will have to do some expert juggling with her time in order to fit in an affair too. Children fall sick all the time, husbands return home from an outstation tour before schedule or the babysitter is nowhere to be found. All these in turn mean that she might cancel a date with you or ask to meet you at the last minute. If you don’t like the other person calling the shots in a relationship, then probably a married affair is not for you. It would be wise to be keep in mind that while dating a married woman you are on her watch and not the other way round.

She can be choosy about her needs

If a married woman is having an affair with you then it is obvious that her needs are not being met in the marriage. Now these needs may vary from the sexual to emotional. A woman might be looking for a little something on the side because her husband no longer cares to please her in bed. It could also be because sex is all that a husband is interested in without any desire for emotional intimacy. An affair with a married woman might be more about fulfilling her needs rather than yours. She might be merely interested in having some fun in the bedroom with really wanting to know the real you or discovering your inner self. On the other hand all she might want to do on your furtive meetings is dance with you to slow music or read love poetry together instead of getting between the sheets which is what you are probably craving for. If you start demanding on your needs being put first – no matter how justified they seem to you – or if you unburden all your office troubles on her, then in all likelihood, you will soon be seeing the last of your married partner. Remember a married woman is looking to have a good time from her lover and if you are not going to give it to her, she might as well do something else with her precious spare hours.

You may be leaving footprints

Discretion is absolutely essential if you want to have a successful affair with a married woman. This means no telling about your last night’s dalliance to your beer mates, golf pals, office co-workers and most of all no posting pictures on your Facebook page. It is incredible how technology can both be a help and equally a danger in carrying out an affair. If mobile phones and online chatting enable instant communication, photos, videos and written content can be just as easily salvaged from any form of electronic communication. There are today a wide variety of spyware which can be used to retrieve data from mobile phones and computers. So spouses no longer need to look for lipstick marks on collars or suspicious bills in a handbag – all they have to do is install a spyware and simply sit back and get a lowdown on their erring partners.

Be prepared to get caught

Having an affair with a married woman always brings with the possibility of exposure. There is just no telling how one thing may lead to another – a photo posted by a stranger on his/her social networking page with you and your lover in a far corner of a restaurant might be viewed by her husband’s co-worker who knows the couple well. And once you are discovered, the consequences might not be pretty at all. Apart from resulting in a very angry husband at your lover’s end, you would probably have made a mess of your personal life too. If you are in another steady relationship, you will most likely be seeing the last of her but if you are married, you can start looking for another place to stay and at the prospect of shelling out hefty alimonies and child support. An affair with a married woman - for all its exhilaration - is uncertain at best and disastrous at worst. So if you are about to take the plunge or even have moved a considerable distance down the garden path, take a moment to consider if in the end the affair is going to be worth the risk.