Dating a married woman - is it really for you?

We live in a day and age where dating has become one of America’s favorite past-times.  So much so in fact that dating is no longer limited to the single girl or guy. We’re also living in a time where monogamy and the sanctity of marriage is becoming less and less recognized, and even worse, less revered.

With the advent of the Internet and technology, the married force is finding it even easier to play when the cat’s away (or simply not looking).  Some people even hunt and seek out the married individual, thinking that dating a married woman or man will be fun.  With thrill seeking topping the lists of enjoyment in the dating world, there is nothing more exciting than dating someone with the potential of getting caught.

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Infidelity may be one of today’s leading causes of divorce, however, this does not mean that every marriage that experiences infidelity will end up in divorce.  On the other hand, cheating may be an excellent way for a woman to crawl her way out of a marriage she is no longer interested in   For the man that is looking for a married woman to have some fun with, he needs to be careful.  He may find himself involved with a woman he only wants to have fun with, and end up with so much more. Or, he may end up falling in love with a woman who will always love another man.

But the fact remains, more and more married women are looking for something to spice up their lives.  They have fallen into the rut of the day to day regime of their marriages, and are bored, neglected, lacking a sex life, seeking thrills, or even sometimes, seeking revenge on their OWN cheating spouse.  Married women to the dating man represents the forbidden.  And men always want what they can’t have.  If a man can steal another woman away from her husband, even if it’s only for a few hours, he will have felt like he conquered a battle.  And for a man, there is no greater reward.

Women on the other hand are lacking emotional bonds and are looking for someone that will make them feel pretty, loved, adored, worshipped even.  According to an MSNBC.com Lust, Love, and Loyalty survey, the motives behind a woman’s infidelity will stem from a strong need for emotional attention.  40% of women surveyed indicated more attention emotionally was the driving factor behind their infidelity.  33% of women also want to be reassured that they are desirable, and this may indicate that sometimes just having a man pay attention to them is enough to get the rails of infidelity going.  This is why getting involved with a married woman is so easy for today’s single man. They are an easy hook. Just pay them the right compliment at the right time, and they will be swooning in a New York Minute.

The women in the MSNBC survey also indicated they were more likely to cheat just once.  This is why it is so important that men looking for a married woman to ‘mess around with’ needs to be very careful.  For the woman he is playing with, there are emotions involved. She will not just become attached to him emotionally, but will also suffer the dichotomy of still being attached to the man with whom she has promised the rest of her life.

Men and women fundamentally think differently when it comes to relationships, and so the man that is getting involved with the married woman needs to understand these differences.  These differences are especially important if the man is only looking for some fun.  Men will seek out any relationship, married or otherwise, with the initial intent of biological release.  They will connect with women they have chemistry with, are attracted to, and ultimately, want a sexual affair with.  For some men, these relationships evolve into an emotional bond over time.  For women however, the emotions come first, the sex comes second.

When a man is getting involved with a married women, he may think it’s an easy sell.  He will be able to have his cake, and send her home too without any concerns of commitment, longevity, or the dreaded ‘Where is this going’ talk.  Married women on the other hand will connect with the man emotionally right from the get-go.  From that instant connection a void for this woman will be filled, and she will want to keep coming back to this man to ensure he continues to fill this emotional gap she has with her spouse.  This does not mean she will leave her husband, and it does not mean that she won’t.  Because the single man involved with this woman will never know this for sure, he needs to tread on eggshells, or high tail the situation all together.

Even if you ask your married woman friend how she is feeling, what is happening with her marriage, do not expect her to tell her the truth.  Remember, that your relationship with this woman, whether it is only physical or otherwise, has been founded on a lie. A lie that she is telling, or keeping, from her husband.  She may tell you the truth, but it is better to err on the side of caution, and assume she’s not.  The reason for this is in many cases, married women that are cheating simply are not clear on what they want, and so they will tell the man they are with (this includes both their date and their husband) exactly what they want to hear. Why? Because women are experts at knowing what men want emotionally, and will give them exactly that, every time, until it is too late.

To say that dating a married woman will open up a can of worms for you is an emotional understatement. If you are looking for a simple fling or some thrill seeking without any hassles, don’t fool yourself into thinking the married woman is the easiest way to go.