How to Survive the Holiday Season as a Single Parent - Christmas for Single Moms and Dads

It is that time of the year when holidays are touted as being all about celebrations with the family. However as a single parent, you may be wracked with stress - having to deal with the daily challenges of raising kids single-handedly as well as coping with the additional expectations brought on by the holidays. Here are a few tips which will not only enable you get through the holidays with your sanity intact but even help you to enjoy the time with or without your kids.

Redefine the holidays

One of the best ways to reduce stress induced by the approaching holiday season is to consider what the holidays mean to you and your kids. Is it about hearing Christmas carols while everyone pitches in to prepare the Christmas pudding? Or do you look forward to spend some quiet time with your kids explaining to them the meaning of Christmas and the values it symbolizes. Once you have re-evaluated the significance of the holidays for you and your family, it will be easier to go through it since you will be focusing only on the truly enjoyable and meaningful aspect of the holidays.

Consider what you cannot do without

Sit down with your kids and discuss what activities are indispensable for putting the whole family in the holiday mood. For some it may be the entire experience of shopping for gifts, wrapping them up and then gleefully opening them on Christmas Day. For others, it may be the act of decorating the Christmas tree or painstakingly preparing Christmas cookies. Decide what you and your kids would like to do best over the holidays and then go ahead with them. Choosing to limit your activities to those which really symbolize the meaning of the holidays for you and your kids will not only cut away unwanted aspects but make the whole thing actually enjoyable.



Pare down the non-essentials

The very exercise of focusing on the meaningful part of the holidays will also make you aware of the activities which are hardly likely to matter if dropped. If your kids no longer enjoy hosting a cookie party for the neighborhood kids, there is no reason why you should keep doing so just because you used to do it when you were not single. Again, if you feel that this year you want to keep the Christmas decorations to a minimum, choose a smaller tree or consider buying a pre-lit Christmas tree. Just because you have been following certain rituals in the past does not imply that you have to go through them in detail, even when they no longer mean much to you. Doing away with the non-essentials or modifying them to suit present priorities will work wonders in cutting down stress related to holiday expectations.

Invent new traditions

While family traditions form the core of holidays for many, feel free to invent new traditions which make you and your kids happy. If all the previous Christmas lunches were spent in the company of extended family members like grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, ask your kids if this year they would like to go out to a restaurant for a special Christmas buffet and then drive through the town in the evening to watch the holiday lights. The holidays should be a fun time for you and your kids, so be open to doing whatever all of you like best.

Reach out to others

Networking with other single-parent families is often a great way of dealing with stress brought on during holidays. If possible, plan the Christmas lunch with another family – this will not only save on expenses but also allow for the distribution of labor necessary to come up with a traditional spread. Again if you wish to attend midnight mass at your church, see if you can go with another single-parent family. Being together will not only lessen the pain of missing the other parent but will enrich the celebrations since you and your kids will be able to better relate to other single-parent families.

Find fulfilling activities for yourself

If your kids are going to spend the holidays with your ex spouse, consider what will be the most meaningful way to spend your own time. If you have been looking for a break for a long time, use the spare time to rest and relax. Read a book, cook a favorite dish, listen to Christmas carols or do whatever helps you to unwind. However if you do not wish to be on your own, catch up with old friends and arrange to meet them but stay away from families with kids if you feel you are going to miss your own children. Again you could use your time and resources to volunteer at a charity of your choice. Find out what would make you happiest and then go ahead with those plans.

Put a lid on your budget

The key to surviving the holidays as a single parent is not to overstretch yourself and this holds good for your holiday shopping budget too. Make a list of the people who must have gifts this year and then see how much you can spend comfortably. If there is still some money left, extend the list to those who have not done something particularly great for your family but still are in your thoughts. On no account, you should buy gifts on credit. Don’t give in when kids try to emotionally blackmail you for expensive toys. Say not to their demands firmly but cheerfully and if they are old enough to understand, offer them a choice between a pricey toy and a movie on Christmas afternoon.

It is easy to get caught up in the commercialism of the holiday season so that having a good time often gets reduced to what to buy, wear or use. Celebrating the holidays is so much more than merely going through a check-list of must-have gifts or even to-do customs. Bring back the focus on the simpler and more meaningful aspects of the holiday season and you will not only able to survive it as a single parent but also enjoy it wholeheartedly.