You have women hitting on you when your girlfriend is with you

Somehow you’ve just got what it takes. Women find you undeniably attractive and irresistible. Lucky you! Most men would kill to be in your shoes. But you’ve got a problem…you have a girlfriend! And women just seem to get a kick out of fawning over you when she’s around. You’re on uncertain territory – you’re unsure whether to enjoy the adulation and bask in it, or pretend like you didn’t notice it in the first place and that it’s no big deal!

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Well, buddy that really depends! "On what?" you may wonder. Two things really…how important the attention is to you and even more significantly, what your girlfriend means to you (how important she is!). Let’s envisage three scenarios…

You have just begun dating and are in the initial stages of the relationship…

At this point in time you don’t know where you stand with your girlfriend and you desperately need time to explore the relationship further, as well as your feelings for this new lady in your life. And you definitely can’t do it with women throwing themselves at you. A tiny part of you (or maybe a slightly larger one!) is secretly enjoying the experience – it is a heady feeling to be the ‘most wanted’ one. But you are dating this girl and if you want to give it a fair chance, you will have to prioritize and figure out what is important to you.

You have obviously found your girlfriend attractive/hot/desirable/has a great personality, to begin dating her. If you don’t give her the attention that she needs and the relationship the exclusive time it deserves, chances are you won’t be in one any longer. Of course, if you’ve already figured that out by now – that the relationship isn’t going anywhere - then by all means, soak it in and have fun. But if you are serious about pursuing this relationship, and it’s bothering your girlfriend, or she’s getting too rattled with it (which is quite likely), you will have to do something about it. Short of beating women off with the proverbial stick, you could suggest meeting privately. Don’t make the reason for it obvious, but a quiet place where you can connect, which poses no threats to your relationship, would be ideal.

You could invite her over to your place occasionally, take in a movie at a drive-in or a play, and go on a long drive and park in a secluded/romantic spot. Women are very intuitive creatures. Without your making it obvious, she will realize that you are taking the trouble to avoid hurting her and she will really appreciate it. And if your relationship flowers as a result and you realize you have something far more valuable than a temporary stint in the spotlight, you will be really happy you made the effort! After all, you might always manage to draw women, but you won’t always get someone who takes the trouble to know you and who you click with on far deeper levels than just physical attraction.

You are in a serious, committed relationship

…And suddenly it seems like women are hitting on you, something that hasn’t really happened a great deal before. Before you get caught up in the temptation of reveling in it, take a moment to analyze why women are suddenly so crazy about you. Has your appearance undergone some drastic transformation and you’ve magically acquired the looks of Tom Cruise with the charisma of Sean Connery? Or do women find the fact that you’re ‘taken’ and your attentiveness towards your girlfriend appealing? There are some women who are natural predators and it’s more likely the latter than the former. It is the lure of the unattainable, the challenge that you pose. So while you may be tempted to test the waters, if you have found something special in your relationship, don’t forfeit it for a ‘bite of the apple’ like Adam did, and forever repent your temporary aberration. This will most likely happen, if you give up your relationship with your girlfriend or flirt with these women when they hit on you, in her presence.

Once you have decided that you would like to stay in your present relationship, your best bet is ‘Ignorance is bliss’. Give the other women, who are flirting with you, the cold shoulder. Even if your girlfriend claims that the attention doesn’t worry her, don’t be fooled. She’s only testing you. Don’t fall for it. When a woman hits on you, be polite and gentlemanly, yet distant and uninterested. Unless she’s coming on too strong, don’t be rude and rebuff her – you want to conduct yourself with finesse and make an impression – both on your girlfriend, that you are serious about your relationship with her, and on the other woman, that you are not interested.

If you are committed to the relationship, don’t give your girlfriend reason to doubt you. Once trust is broken, your relationship will never be the same again. Even if you don’t show any interest in the women who are after you, or get flattered by the attention (or at least not obviously so!) your girlfriend may still get irritated with the situation. But once she sees that you’re not responding, or even actively rejecting any overtures a woman makes towards you, she will realize your devotion to her and that she has nothing to worry about. You may even be able to laugh about it and have a good time, despite it. When she realizes how lucky she is (that she’s got a genuine guy), she’ll treat you so good that it will reinforce all your reasons for staying in the relationship and not giving in to fleeting pleasures!

You are almost sure your relationship has no future

If you are caught in a situation where your relationship has nothing holding it together any longer, and you’re wondering how to go about sounding the death-knell on it, this is a fine time to take advantage of the situation and capitalize on it. But don’t insult your girlfriend - you owe her honesty first. Tell her, as gently as possible, if the relationship isn’t working for you. But if she refuses to give up and is clinging to some unreal hope that it will last, unabashedly enjoying other women’s advances is the surest way of letting the relationship die a natural death.

When women show you that they are interested, reciprocating it, or at least enjoying it, is a good way to get the message across to your girlfriend that the relationship is over – at least for you. Also, you can’t deny that your desirability quotient might be higher because you’re ‘forbidden fruit’. So if you’re sought after because you’re attached, make the most of it –you won’t be for much longer!