When is it OK to spy on your spouse?

Marriage is a wonderful union of two people who love each other and wish to cherish each other for all eternity.  They trust each other more than they trust any other person on earth.  They are willing to open up their souls to one another and allow each to read the deepest secrets hidden there.   There is nothing one hides from the other.  Each one shares every moment of their life with the other. 

Well that is how it is suppose to be anyway.  In real life, marriage can slowly turn from a beautiful dream-come-true to a time of worry, fear and suspicion.  As couples grow older, they sometimes grow apart from each other.  As careers begin to build, time spent with clients, co-workers or partners becomes greater.  Stresses of finances, family and work begin to wear on the mind and can cause people to do things they normally would never consider.  When a couple begins to grow apart or spend less time with each other, one spouse may begin to worry about what exactly the other is doing when they are away.  The obvious answer to this concern is to spy on their spouse to find out.  While spying on your spouse just to find something they are doing wrong to give you a reason to fight is not good, there are times when it could be justified.

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Infidelity

Probably the most common reason for wanting to spy on a spouse is the belief that he/she is having an affair with someone else.  This scenario is becoming more and more the case as we spend more time at work, pursuing hobbies and surfing chat rooms on the internet.  According to Janis Abrahms Spring, author of “After the Affair”, affairs affect one out of every 2.7 couples.   If you suspect a spouse of cheating, the only way to know for sure may to be to spy on them. Most of the time, a person is not going to admit to an affair if they are confronted without proof. 

If you are considering spying on a spouse to find out if they are having an affair, be sure that you have a reason to do so.  If you are caught spying on your spouse, it could be just as hurtful and unproductive as accusing them with no reason for it.  Secondly, decide what you are going to do about it if you do find that your spouse is having an affair.  If you are afraid of confronting your spouse even with proof, it may not be worth the risk of getting caught to spy on them.  If you decide that you are going to file for a divorce, if it turns out that you are right, be prepared to stick to that decision. 

Illegal Activity

During this time of economic uncertainty, many people are becoming desperate for work in order to support their family.  Unfortunately, some people turn to illegal activities in order to increase their cash flow.  If a husband or wife sees signs that their spouse is participating in illegal activities, they may be tempted to spy on their spouse to find out the truth.  As with infidelity, most spouses would not confess to doing something illegal unless confronted with proof.  Spying may be the only way to know for sure if your suspicions are correct.

If your spouse suddenly has more money, specifically in cash, than they should have, this could be a clue that they are participating in something illegal.  If they are suddenly spending time with new friends of the type that make you feel uneasy there is a good chance that they are up to no good.  Getting a separate cell phone may also be a sign that they are doing something they should not.  Being nervous around authority figures may indicate guilt of something.  If you suspect that your spouse is involved in something illegal, it may be better to call the police or a private investigator rather than do the spying yourself.  People involved in something illegal may not take it well if they catch you spying on them and it could result in your injury or even death.

Addictions
Addictions come in many different forms.  Drugs and alcohol can be destructive to not only the person with the addiction but also those close to them.  Just as destructive, gambling addictions can cause a person to bet away money for bills or groceries, on a chance that often does not pay out.  With the internet in millions of homes all over the world, sex addictions are becoming more prevalent than ever and can cause people to do things that are expensive, immoral or illegal, to fulfill their needs.  
 
If your spouse starts missing work or other events due to an illness that they will not see a doctor for, they may be suffering from some kind of addiction.  As most addictions cost money in some way or another, unaccountable spending could also be a sign of a serious addition.  Especially if this spending is resulting in large amounts of debt.  Most addictions will cause severe personality changes.  Sudden outbursts or violence could be a sign as well.  If you think your spouse has developed some kind of addiction, spying on them could be a good way to find out exactly what they are addicted to and provide an idea of how to help them break the hold that the addiction has on them. 

No matter how perfect a relationship is, there will always be some kind of obstacle to overcome at some point.  If the relationship is strong, the couple can work together to work out whatever they may come up against.  However, sometimes the problems come from within the relationship itself.  When this happens, it may be needed for one spouse to spy on the other.  This decision should not be made lightly and needs to be well thought out before being acted on.  If the potential problem is something that could result in a court proceeding, it could be a very good idea to hire a private detective.  Private detectives are licensed in their state to engage in surveillance.  They are knowledgeable about what types of spying is legal in your state and they are allowed to testify in a court of law on your behalf.  While the average cost of a private investigator is usually quite high and you also have to bear other expenses, it could be well worth the cost.  Whether you are going to hire a professional or do the spying yourself, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.