Part of the reason why dating is so exciting is the inscrutability of the actions, and perhaps reactions too, of the opposite sex. So it has been two whole days now since you went out with this guy and you are going crazy trying to figure out why you haven’t heard from him yet. Here are ten common reasons why guys don’t call and drag their partners through the guessing game.
- He is playing hard to get
This is by far the most usual reason why a guy doesn’t call you even when a date has gone off well. Every guy and girl wants to relish the chase in a dating game. And while it is more conventional for guys to do the pursuing, who can grudge them an occasional thrill, knowing that their dating partner is at the other end of the phone, chewing her nails off wondering why it doesn’t ring.
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- He has forgotten all about it
Incredible though it may seem to women, guys – or at least some of them – are completely capable of going out on a date with you last evening and actually forgetting to call you back. This is more usual for the absent-minded kind of guy whose appointment diary is a mess or non-existent and for whom turning up at work in mismatched socks is more than a one-time accident. At the same time, if your date has had a busy weekend with the boys – watching football, going golfing or hanging around at the bar – it is likely that he may have truly lost track of the time and forgotten that he should call you.
- He is trying to gauge your reaction
The funny thing about relationships is that one single situation can easily have completely opposite but equally probable interpretations. Instead of being evidence of his forgetfulness, your date’s silence over the phone may actually indicate that he is thinking of you. He may be doing this to see how eager you are to take this relationship to the next level or merely to test how you handle a stressful situation. If you can play the waiting game as well, he may be impressed by your ability to hold your own. On the other hand if you get tired of waiting and call him anyway, he will rightly guess your interest in this relationship. This is not necessarily a bad thing but if he is the kind of guy who likes to play the guessing game, this may make him call you even less frequently.
- He does not want to come off as desperate
When a guy likes someone, it may make him do crazy things, like wanting to appear cool and unconcerned. And one of the ways he thinks he can do this is by refraining from calling you. Possibly he has been taken for granted in a past relationship or thinks it is ‘unmanly’ to appear needy and desirous of a woman’s love. Whatever his motivations, he doesn’t want to appear too desperate and likes to think that he has his options open.
- He is getting some bad advice
Some men believe in the rule that they shouldn’t call a woman till two or three days have passed since their date. Some on the other hand may think that they shouldn’t call at all and leave it to their partner to take the next step. If your partner is being led into these notions by his beer-mates or his golfing pals, watch out. He may be too malleable for comfort and easily impressed upon which hardly bodes well for a future relationship.
- He is nervous
If your guy is the shy type, then he may be avoiding a phone conversation with you simply because he is too nervous to speak. And if the guy actually happens to like you, it may be all the more disconcerting for him to talk about his feelings for you for fear that he may make a fool of himself. The best thing to do with a guy like this is to let him take his time – rushing him or forcing him into a conversation before he is ready will only scare him further.
- He doesn’t want to lead you on
If the guy senses that each of you has different expectations from the relationship, maybe he thinks it better that things don’t roll on any further. For instance he may be looking for a casual dating relationship while you appear to be interested in a deeper commitment. Instead of making it worse by getting together again and leading you on, perhaps your guy feels that cooling off now would lead to fewer complications.
- He would rather leave a message
This is one of the many curious reasons that a guy may do while dating. He might call you but at a time when he knows you will unavailable. He may be more than willing to leave a message on your answering machine or voice mail, asking you to call him back. Should you do it? If you really like this guy, go ahead and ring him back but not immediately. Wait for a day or two and then get back to him, perhaps saying that you checked the voice mail only now or that you were busy and it completely slipped from your mind. After all, two can play the game!
- He has a secret
Not very common, but it has been known to happen. May be your date did not call you back because he has a wife and family tucked away in the suburbs or perhaps he is already in a committed relationship.
- He is not that into you
Hard though it may be to accept it, your date’s silence may indicate that he is not really keen on meeting you again. Men are not very good at talking about their feelings especially when they know they are letting down a woman. So your guy may feel that it is easier just not to call rather than call and tell you that he is not interested. Unfortunately this may lead to confusion and frustration for the other person involved.
It can be extremely irritating and even depressing when a guy takes his own sweet time in calling you back. Here is finally a guy you like, you even give him your number and then you find nothing happening. Hopefully your partner is merely suffering from nerves but if not, there are always other numbers in your phonebook, waiting to be dialled!