A common complaint among men is that at dates they rarely have clues on what their partners want to talk about. After the usual introductory remarks, conversation stalls and needless to say, it often turns out to be their last date. The secret to a lively conversation, at least in the initial stages of a relationship, is to stick to topics that girls like best. Here are a few ideas that can help you to tide over those awkward pauses and keep the conversation flowing.
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Her likes and dislikes
This is a time-honored and still the most dependable way to break the ice with a girl. Ask what her hobbies and pursuits are and nine times out of ten she will be happy to oblige you. It may be painting, collecting crystal ornaments or hiking into the mountains every weekend. Every person has interests which excite them and discussing these will offer you a way to get to know the girl early on. When you’re asking a girl about her passions, make sure that you are genuinely interested. If she suspects that you are merely sounding her out and couldn’t care less about what excites her, she is likely to lose interest and stop saying more. You don’t have to sit through a one-sided conversation. Rather, find a topic of mutual interest and then go on to ask more about it. This way, the conversation will still be relevant to your girl’s interests and yet involve both parties.
Talk about her
After you have established a comfort zone, put the focus squarely on the girl. Almost all girls love talking about themselves and if proceeded with tact, it can be a great way to impress her. Compliment your girl about her sense of style or the perfume she is wearing and if she seems happy, use this to ask her more about what she loves to wear or her favorite fragrances. Don’t use common pick-up lines though and zero in on an aspect which is unique to the girl. For instance if she is wearing a striking pendant, compliment its unusual beauty and then subtly remark that she must know a thing or two about fine jewelry. Usually girls don’t expect men to be interested in these topics and if your partner finds that you are willing to chat her up on matters like style and appreciate her taste in this, she is sure to feel flattered. Once you have been able to make a girl feel good about herself, you can be sure she will want to meet you again. In conversation it’s best to avoid making negative comments not only about her but about other women in general. Even if you praise her svelte figure but make fun of other obese women, this may reflect badly on you.
Yet another theme which usually holds a girl’s interest quite readily is relationships. Girls love to explore emotionally-charged topics and talking about dynamics of relationships can keep the conversation nicely flowing. Here too, take the lead from your girl and let her have her say on a range of topics like speed dating, couples living in before marriage or various reasons for infidelity. She is likely to launch into these with enthusiasm and may even be impressed by your interest in emotional dynamics of relationships. You can play safe and avoid controversial topics like same-sex marriages or right to abortion. Rightly handled, relationship-based topics can work as invaluable tools for taking your own partnership ahead but then you must be emotionally invested in these issues. There is no point in discussing your friend’s cheating girlfriend with your partner if you are not visibly concerned about her answer. Rather listen to her response and then deftly lead the conversation on matters that concern you both.
Questions like where your girl works and if she likes her job have been done to death. Moreover she may not be happy with her job or have workplace issues she does not wish to discuss. You’ll do a better job of holding her interest if you ask her about her aspirations in life. If she is still in school, talk to her about the classes she is taking or what she plans to major in. Or if she is already working, ask her what she hopes to achieve in her career and where she sees herself going from her present position. And if she is satisfied with her job, ask about any recent project that she enjoyed doing or specific skills which are crucial to her nature of work. Here too, look for certain points which might pique your interest and then use them to launch into a more involved conversation.
Topics related to popular music, movies and celebrities are yet another area which a girl is likely to be interested in. Most girls are keen followers of the latest trends in entertainment industry and if you can zero in on what she is most interested in, she will be happy talking about it. Here however the choice of topics may differ from one person to another. While one girl may be an avid follower of Hollywood gossip, another may be excited by books that make the NYT bestseller list. Go beyond talking about Harry Potter movies or asking her about her favorite rock band. Rather look for creative ways to explore the topic - like if she is a Harry Potter fan, ask how she found the latest film different from the previous one and what she expects from the final film in the series. If she is music buff, get her take on the trend of fad bands and if she had any particular favorites while growing up.
While the above pointers may be useful as standbys when you are at a loss of topics, what is finally more important is how you go about it. There are no common list of topics that will interest all girls since they have diverse interests and values. To really hold her attention, you must listen to her actively, pick the cues she is sending and then use those signals to delve into what really interests her.