Questions to avoid on a first date

Men and women go for dates for different reasons. But most common points of interest are intimacy, companionship, socializing, and recreation. Dates are about two people going out together to have fun, but sometimes they end up in misery for both. This depends on the quality of interaction or nature of conversation between the two of them.

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If the communication between the two who are going on a date is not effective, they will not enjoy each other’s company very much and their relationship will not go far. Mere physical attraction cannot help sustain a relationship. A lull in conversation or embarrassed silences or dominating monologues are all mishaps in the dating game.

It takes a lot of sensitivity and plain common sense in choosing what to talk about while on a date. You must steer off controversy as well as monotony, vulgarity as well as stuffiness. You have to appear interesting, empathetic, amusing and intelligent. Some of the questions you can avoid on a date to avoid embarrassment afterwards are as below:

1) Questions on ex-partners

Do not narrate stories of ex-partners and previous relationships. Especially do not reveal all the gory details on how she/he called you 18 times a day or how you cheated on him/her. You end up revealing your own character flaws and perhaps arouse the suspicion that you have not completely got over the previous romance. So you need to avoid discussing your ex to your date and must give the impression that you are starting on a clean slate.

You should not narrate break-up history or express any bitterness over previous relationships. You are supposed to have fun and not to cry over the other’s shoulder. Bury the past and start anew. You should not treat your date as a shock absorber.

2) Questions on personal problems

Why do you want to rake up any personal problems on your date? Don’t discuss mental, financial, and legal or divorce problems. You are opening up a Pandora’s box of problems. It is best not to bring up these problems with your date.

3) Avoid politics

Especially on your first date, you must not discuss if and why you are a Democrat or a Republican or what you think of Bush's governance. If your idea of having fun is discussing such topics, you belong to a rare species. A heated argument on politics is sure to sour up a date.

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4) Avoid heavy religion

You can discuss whether you believe in God and what He means to you in your life. But if this leads to metaphysical arguments like the question of abortion, women priests, the question of who created you, the theory of evolution, etc, such discussions are too heavy for a date. Avoid such topics or your date will avoid you like the plague.

5) Don’t whine and complain

Don’t ask questions that lead to whining and complaining. Who wants to listen to how lousy your job is, and how bad the weather is? A date is not the place to air your grievances. Your date is expecting to have fun and if she is greeted with a whining about the traffic, that will put her mood off and strain the rest of the evening. So even if you have had a bad day, get ready to enjoy your date and remember that frowns are as contagious as smiles. So don’t let your mood affect your date.

6) Don’t ask questions about sex

Don’t be too curious about sex and try to discuss excerpts from the Kama Sutra. It may put off your date.

7) Health problems

If you are going to discuss your appendectomy, your hernia and your urinary infection, you will see your date disappearing fast away from you. You can expect some sympathy for a broken leg or a headache but no date can tolerate a vivid account of Uncle John’s kidney transplant or Aunt Thelma’s varicose veins. Steer clear of topics that involve things painful, urinary or dilated, over your dinner date.

8)Technical jargon

Avoid too much discussion of technical stuff. You cannot impress any date by going on a rambling trip about software and hardware, Bluetooth and SWOT analysis. Most women get bored with technical jargon. Most men may like discussing the latest gizmo, but it is never appropriate on a date.

9) Sports

Some men have their head buried in sports all day long. Women enjoy sports too. But bringing it to the dating scene is boring for most people. You may have a false notion that you can impress your date with the latest baseball statistics. You can’t also convince her to rout for your home team. It’s a date that is wasted and forgotten.

10) About money

One question to avoid is to ask how much money she/ he makes. Any questions on wealth will put a person off and give the impression that you are a gold digger or a woman seeking a sugar daddy.


In sum, avoid asking questions on your date that may be too personal for the moment, too vulgar, too monotonous, too controversial or too heavy. Remember to have fun and enjoy yourself!