So you actually got past your inhibitions to flirt with that drop-dead gorgeous woman and summoned up the courage to ask for her number? And you’ve even successfully called her to fix up a date without bungling it up! Now that you’ve got her where you want her, or at least where you can see her again, you don’t want all your efforts to come to naught. You need some serious help on how to make your first date with her a success. How do you go about making a good impression on a first date?
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...are you going to take her? While most first date options traditionally favored the candlelight romantic dinner or such similar fare, experts are now re-evaluating their take on this. Research is now suggesting that first dates benefit more from doing fun things together. Like going to a funfair or a rock concert. They say that the thrill and excitement of a roller coaster ride, or the adrenaline rush that is brought on by rock music, lends itself to spicing up the first date, thus making a good impression.
Since first dates can sometimes be awkward affairs, a casual setting like a comedy club or even a blues bar, can provide an easygoing atmosphere to what could otherwise be a slightly tense experience. While a first date should lend itself to conversation, if you are one of those types who is slightly nervous or edgy around a first-time date, it would be a good idea to take her where you don’t have to initiate too much conversation.
...are you planning the date for? Should you fix it straight away and seem too eager? Or should you play it cool and act like it doesn’t matter? Taking the middle ground should do just fine. You don’t want to seem too anxious, yet you don’t want her to get the feeling that it doesn’t matter at all or that you’re acting too laidback.
Suggest a date a couple of days away, while hastening to reassure her that should she not be available, a later date would do. This way you’re showing her you’d love to see her, while also displaying the right amount of concern for her plans. This will help you score points, as looking out for her needs and seeing beyond your immediate concerns – a good way to set the stage for creating a good impression even before your first date.
..do you plan to get there? Are you going to pick her up or agree to meet at the venue itself? Once again, you don’t need to put yourself out or travel to the opposite end if the venue of your date is somewhere in between. She’ll think she already has you where she wants you, at her beck and call, and half the fun is lost. You could suggest meeting somewhere half way. But there are still women who feel very special if their date makes the effort to pick them up, and you could throw it in for good measure without seeming unduly enthusiastic. If she leaps in to take you up on it, you can be sure it will add up in your favor to do the chivalrous thing.
...is the ideal code of behavior to make a good impression on the first date?
1. Should you take her something like flowers or a box of chocolates? It might not go amiss, but don’t overdo it.
2. Compliment her on how she looks and make it sound genuine, not as if you memorized it on the way.
3. If you’re meeting her at the venue itself, do the gentlemanly thing. Stand up when she walks in; make sure she’s comfortably seated.
4. Be yourself, which doesn’t mean that you should take it to the other extreme and do things like swear or use profanities. Act as naturally as possible, because that is not something you have to make an effort to do.
5. Be attentive, but don’t go overboard trying to impress her, it will only backfire. She will figure that you’re already a sucker for her. Being a little elusive does wonders and makes a woman want to chase you a little too. Doing all the chasing is no fun.
6. Put her at her ease. If you succeed in making her feel comfortable, it’s the surest way for her to enjoy your company and the evening.
7. Be decisive and confident, but seek her opinion too. For instance, if you’re ordering something, you could always make a creative suggestion, but don’t force it down her throat. Ask her if she’d like to make her own choice. She will see it as a quality that extends to other aspects of your life too.
..should you not ask her for a second date on your first date itself? You figure it will save you the trouble of plucking up the guts to call her and ask her out again and it's better to get it over with now. But irrespective how successful your date has been, or how much she says she’s enjoyed herself, it pays to drag out the suspense. Anticipation is a powerful feeling and keeping her in that heightened state will work in your favor.
Keeping her guessing should do the trick and make her realize that you’re not a goner for her yet. In fact, you could even call her up the next day telling her what a great time you had and how you should do it again, but still refrain from asking her out. Try and see if she’s shows any inclination to do it for you and make your job easier. If not, postpone asking her out till your next call, by which time she will hopefully be dying to see you again.
..is the best way to end the date? To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question. This is something for which you have to rely on your instincts. If the date has gone really well and she has been giving you good body language signals - touching your hand, leaning toward you - it’s a fairly good indication that you won’t be slapped with outrage if you try kissing her.
You could act as if it’s an impulse thing, and kiss her just as you open the car door for her. Or predictable, and kiss her as you’re bidding her adieu at her door. Don’t get into the hot and heavy scene unless she makes the first move. Keep the kiss light but firm, and no awkward groping please. And if you get any luckier than a kiss, you can be sure you’ve really made a good ‘first date’ impression.