Christian Divorced Dating - Matchmaking for Christian Divorced Men and Women

Christian dating, in a massively sexualized and (arguably) immoral modern society, can be quite a challenge in and of itself. Trying to do it a second time around, after your first marriage has fizzled out, can seem pretty much hopeless. Trying to find a perfect life partner with good Christian values, which include virginity until marriage and the unwillingness to divorce by many standards, can seem like an exercise in hypocrisy. You shouldn't think of it this way though; you are not the only Christian divorce out there and you are not off limits to good Christian partners just because you've been through a marriage that didn't work out.

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Give yourself time after your divorce. When you've just experienced the end of a relationship that you felt was meant to last forever, there will be wounds there that don't easily heal. It is important not to allow yourself to be led around by your vulnerable state of mind (a state of mind which is only natural to have after divorce), which could lead you to make impulsive choices which you may later regret when dating. The months immediately following divorce should probably be spent revaluating yourself as a single individual, as opposed to half of a unified entity. When one spends enough intimate time with another, a bond is built which has a way of making both partners feel one with each other; this is a beautiful aspect of love but it can also be a hard thing to shake when that love disappears. Your ex may or may not be a part of your life in the future, but he or she should not be a big part of who you are in the future. This separation can take some time to adjust to. It is also important to reflect on what mistakes you made in your marriage (many times the primary mistake is choice of partner, but this requires you to evaluate yourself also as you were the one who made the choice) and make necessary changes in your attitude, behavior and perceptions before moving back into dating.

There are countless divorce support groups out there; if you can find one tailored specifically to Christians then that's great but any divorce support group should definitely be considered (rather than trying to be your own support or seeking support from those too close to the situation). The thing about support groups like these is that once you attend you'll quickly see that the hardships that you are going through barely compare with the hardships that others are experiencing. You'll feel “misery loves company” style comradery and it will be a lot easier to be thankful to God for all the wonderful things you do have, as well as give you a reality check and an understanding of the fact that your divorce could have been a lot worse (believe me when I say that your story will not be the worst there). You may also be able to offer guidance, support and love to others in need, which of course is part of being a good Christian. 

The obvious place to look when seeking out practicing Christians is church. Chances are you already know of a few attractive single individuals in your own church, though divorce does have a way of bringing out the judgmental side of some people and you may have already been cast in somewhat of a negative light, particularly if you and your ex-spouse attended church together regularly. If you feel as though you've had a giant “D” painted on your chest at your church though, don't sweat it; that's their problem (God is not a fan of people playing God, and God has not condemned you) and it's a perfectly nice opportunity for you to try out some new churches and meet some new people (including potential dates). Also do yourself a favor and just ignore those (at your church or elsewhere) who would advise you to just pray and have faith that you and your ex will reunite saving the sanctity of your marriage. These people may have their hearts in the right place but their counsel is unrealistic and it is in your best interest to be moving forward to be the best Christian  and person that you can be, not dwelling hopelessly on points in your past when you were unable to be.

Nearly all churches have a “doors open” policy when it comes to admitting and accepting new members into their congregations so church is one of the easiest and most natural ways to meet people anyway (no pick-up line necessary). Visiting new churches can have a positive effect on your overall faith as well as you will take in new viewpoints and perhaps think of things that you hadn't thought of before. Don't advertise the fact that you've been divorced (when someone asks if you're married, “no” is every bit as honest as “I'm divorced”) but there's no shame in letting people know that you're single.

Consider online dating as a possibility as you put yourself back out there too. Internet dating allows you to move at kind of a slow pace from the comfort of your home, and can be a simple way to ease yourself back into the non-married world. People on dating sites aren't going to be judging you (except maybe by how hot you are) and coffee with an interested individual is a fairly low stress alternative to trying to hurl yourself at single people at bars and the like.

Divorce is an unpleasant thing for all those who have to experience it; being a divorce when your religion doesn't condone the dissolving of marriage can add an extra element of suffering into the equation. As with all bad situations in life though, you must make the effort necessary to move on. Take comfort in the fact that God is still on your side, and that true love is achievable for everyone.