So you Think you're 'Too Fat to Get a Boyfriend' - Dating Men who Like Large Women - BBW Dating

One of the worst things that the modern fashion and entertainment industry has imposed on society, is a false notion of beauty, especially female beauty. Every day, media sources bombard viewers with images of reed-thin women, getting the best out of life and society, to the extent that being fat is equated with being ugly and stupid.

Unfortunately, this notion of beauty is internalized by many young women who believe that if they are fat, they are bound to be unsuccessful in love. But nothing could be further from the truth. Here is how to look for love and at the same time live life ‘queen size’.

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Be healthy

First of all, you must understand that being skinny is not the same thing as being healthy. A woman’s body is designed to bear and nurture children and this determines the shape of her body, as well as the presence of fatty tissues in certain areas of her body. Seeking to unnaturally shed weight by crash dieting or over-exercising, may be counter-productive for a woman’s reproductive and overall health. However, this is not to say that being over-weight is alright, only that fashionable notions of beauty may have nothing to do with actually being healthy. Every sane man should know this and those who don’t, are probably not worth wasting your time over.

Men like curvy women

Every other day, there is a survey which reveals that men really dig large women, since there is more to them to love. The image of a voluptuous woman, who bowls over the man may, in fact, be hardwired into the male genes. Millions of years ago, when the biggest priority of a couple was the extension of the species, men purposely chose larger and bigger women, as they offered higher chances of bringing forth healthy offspring. Even today, many men admit preferring big, beautiful girls, rather than anorexic ones. So even if you are five to ten pounds overweight, go out and feel beautiful and you will surely catch the eye of a lot of interesting men.

How fat is too fat?

Before you shut yourself out from the dating scene, first determine whether you are actually overweight. The best way to go about this is to find out your BMI or Body Mass Index which relates a person’s weight to his or her height. In medical terms, BMI is arrived at by dividing a person’s weight (in kilograms) by their height (in meters) squared. According to the National Institute of Health, a woman having a BMI of 27.3% or more can be said to be overweight, while a BMI of 30% or more signals obesity. However, if you find that your BMI is within normal limits, it is time to stop obsessing about your appearance and consider other reasons why you may not be getting interesting men to date.

Deal with the problem

If you find that your BMI is more than 28%, it may be time to take certain steps for the sake of your health and not just for your appearance. Talk to a nutritionist or a counsellor and have them prepare a diet and activity chart for you. Join weight loss programmes if necessary, but don’t fall for extreme diets, as they never help in the long run. Don’t starve yourself, but eat healthy foods. An exercise regimen of just twenty minutes a day, will surely help you to feel fitter and more active than before. And remember, when you feel good, you will naturally start looking good too.

Change your style

Until you can bring about some healthy changes in your weight, adopt a style befitting your shape. Being a large woman does not mean you have to settle for tent-sized clothes. Choose innerwear in the right size, to provide support to your body. For important occasions, use a corset of the correct size to give your waist a streamlined look. At the same time, don’t go for dresses that squeeze your tummy, as it will inevitably spill over on the top. Rather, wear loose-fitted dresses that give a layered look. If you can, put on high heels as they will make your legs look slim and give you a graceful posture. Also let your hair hang loose and do something special with it like getting highlights or a new cut. Finally wear a big charming smile and no one will look at your body.

Adopt a positive attitude

No amount of makeovers can get you dates, if you continue to feel unhappy within. Sign up for a course or learn a new language, to build up your self-esteem. Go out and join hobby classes, or pursue interests that will enrich your mind and at the same time help you to have fun. Women who appear happy and fun-loving, attract men like magnets because they want to have a good time too. Make friends who value you for what you are and you will feel a lot more cherished. Accept and respect people for their qualities and not for how they looks and you will find yourself being given the same kind of value by others. Finally, be happy and flirty with guys and they won’t give a thought to your weight. They will only see how nice and cute you are and, who knows, may even want to meet you again!

Your social life need not be caught up in the doldrums, just because you don’t belong to the size zero brigade. There are lots of men out there who dream about having big, beautiful women to love. And when you think of it, a man is not really worth knowing, if he cannot look through the externals into the actual qualities which go to make up a person. So cheer up and head out with confidence in yourself. Only when you think you are worth dating, others will too.