Men and women these days take more time than ever, to commit themselves to marriage. A host of reasons have led to this trend - mostly because of greater professional opportunities, wider relationship options and a growing incidence of failed or unhappy marriages.So if you find yourself ready for marriage but still looking for Mr. Right, take heart. Here are some tips on finding single men who want to get married, and where to look for them.
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Know what not to settle for
If you are looking to meet men who want marriage, then start out by avoiding those who are just interested in having a good time. When you meet a man for the first time, sound out his priorities in life and if you feel having a family in the near future does not figure high on his list, move on.
Know where to look
Men interested in a serious relationship are unlikely to hang around in bars and nightclubs, which are generally frequented by people looking for a casual pick-up. Similarly, single men whom you may chance to meet on a trip to a foreign country, or at a rock music concert, may not be looking for a committed relationship just yet. Instead, keep a look-out for single men at places where you are a regular, like the gym, your church, your community centre, or other departments in your workplace. Even the decent-looking guy you see on your daily commute, may be a better bet than the dashing guy who you met on the Caribbean cruise last winter.
Choose your dates carefully
Single, mature men who have already made their mark in their professions are more likely to be looking for long-term relationships like marriage. Younger men, on the other hand, will be in no hurry to commit themselves and even if they are in a good job, are more likely to explore all relationship options before they are ready to settle down. But at the same time, it is possible that single older men who are looking for marriage may already have been married once before, and may have other commitments like alimony payments or children from earlier marriages. So keep in mind your priorities and expectations from the relationship, and see if you can find a common ground with a potential partner.
Avoid the chronic daters
Keep away from guys who have already dated every girl you know. Most of these men are not clear about what they want from a relationship, and may have underlying commitment issues. Even if they eventually marry someone and even if that someone is you, it will be quite uncomfortable for you to keep running into your husband’s former lovers at every turn. And such men are more likely than others to get tired of a spouse after a few years and have affairs later on.
Explore religious or community groups
Men who are regular members of their church or other religious associations, are more likely to put a higher premium on marriage and family. If you are a Christian, you could try some of the Christian dating sites, to meet single Christian men ready for a committed relationship. Similarly, if you belong to another faith, see if your religious community has a forum for bringing together men and women who are looking for a life partner. Even your locality might have volunteer groups which offer various types of community services. The advantages of meeting people from such volunteer groups, are that they are not only more likely to be serious and committed, but you will also have a fair idea of their family and background.
Sign up for professional matchmaking services
Professional matchmakers these days, are becoming increasingly popular with men and women who have busy lives, but want to meet a potential life partner in the near future. The best part about these services, is that by definition, they are limited to people who are looking for a serious relationship. Moreover, the service providers screen out unsuitable candidates based on your preferences, so that you don’t waste time meeting people who don’t match your expectations. Even though professional matchmakers charge more than online dating sites, statistically, at least, you have more chances of finding the right person.
Watch how he reacts to kids
One of the most telling signs whether a date is a potential family man, is his behaviour around children, especially when he knows you are not present. If he is comfortable and positive with kids, plays and jokes with them, it is more likely that he is looking forward to marriage and having his own kids. On the other hand, if he is impatient with children, or at best, indifferent to them, perhaps raising a family does not figure very high on his list of priorities.
Take the help of friends
Look up your married friends and ask if they know of a decent, single man interested in a serious relationship. This is because married couples, as a rule, have a larger social circle than single people, and are more likely to be aware of those, looking for a long-term relationship. Moreover, as mutual friends, they will be able to offer you valuable inside information on a potential candidate, if you happen to like someone. So don’t miss a chance to go to the barbecues, or Halloween parties thrown by your married friends and it is possible, that you may come across someone single and ready to settle down.
Examine his social circle
Yet another way of knowing, if a guy is marriage material, is to observe his social circle. If it includes several married couples, or if he has quite a few friends in committed relationships, he will be more likely to have a positive view of marriage. If on the other hand, his social circle consists predominantly of drinking partners, co-workers and mates from his golf club, he probably thinks marriage is for sissies and cat-lovers.
If you have been looking for a committed relationship, and unable to find the right guy, consider if you’ve been sending out the wrong signals. Are you unconsciously giving off vibes, which make men think that you are just good for a short affair? Get your own priorities clear, and then stick to them. Take yourself seriously, if you want others to do the same.
So, it is not that hard to meet a single guy, who is ready for a long-term relationship. But be prepared to commit yourself, only when you are certain that he is the guy for you. Don’t marry someone, just for the sake of getting married, but do so when you know for sure that the guy shares your values, in life and hopes for the future.