It is not unusual to come across guys who claim to be perplexed by what women want from them. Some days wives and girlfriends seem to be fine with who their men are while on others they will try their best to change the men in their lives. Likewise if you find women difficult to figure out, here is a list of the ten top things that women want in men.
“We want you to listen to us”
Like really listen instead of putting on that dazed look and occasionally managing to come up with an “uh-uh…yeah...that’s right” to show that you are still alive. At the other of the spectrum are guys who jump at the chance of lecturing or criticizing their partners the moment the latter try to share something with them. Remember women talk not merely to seek advice or exchange information but to share their thoughts and feelings – it’s how they connect with their partners.
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“We want you to be fun”
A lively sense of humor is apparently the biggest draw when it comes to women looking for a dating partner. A man who can laugh away the blues is not only fun to be with when the going is good but is actually quite a blessing to have around when the sun does not shine so bright and the chips are down. However leave the “Three Stooges” brand of humor for the guys and give your woman something wittier to laugh about.
“We want you to be there for us”
Perhaps what differentiates a casual fling from a meaningful relationship is that in the latter, partners are there for each other through thick and thin. Men who are not emotionally available are not much use to women for long and sooner or later, women will gravitate to other people who are better at offering comfort and emotional support.
“We want you to look beyond our bodies”
Every woman is looking for a guy who is willing to see her as a individual with a mind and not just a means of making out. This is not to say that women don’t want to be thought of as attractive but only that they want to be considered living, thinking beings before that. It has been a long and hard struggle for women to be accepted as equals, both in society as well as in personal relationships and this self-respect is not something that your wife or girlfriend would be willing to give up in a hurry.
“We want you to be honest”
OK, this is not an excuse to tell your woman what you really think of her in that red dress. Rather when a woman says that she wants her man to be honest with her, she means that he should refrain from lies and half-truths in their relationship. Like for instance, telling her that you are doing overtime when in fact you are out with your beer-mates. Or worse, cheating on her with someone else and allowing her to think that you have actually been on a business trip. Trust is the foundation on which every relationship is built and if you are not honest with your partner, how can she put her trust in you?
“We want you to be smart”
That women dig intelligent guys needs little elaboration. Even though this does not mean that you have to quote realms from your college dissertation or explain the finer points of quantum physics but not coming up with a “duh” every time she wishes to have an intelligent conversation will work wonders for your relationship. For women, the brain perhaps is the sexiest part of a man and few things turn her on as a witty repartee or an intelligent remark. So the next time your girlfriend invites you over to her place, beat her at Jeopardy and watch happens.
“We want you to be financially secure”
Among the top turn-offs for women are guys who live off others – whether family members, friends or partners. A man who is not gainfully employed will rarely attract a smart, well-adjusted woman and only those who are psychologically drawn to losers. Similarly having your own place and car are signs that you are a responsible adult and are not only capable of taking yourself but also of providing for a family, which is ultimately what women have been hard-wired to look for in a potential mate since the primitive times.
“We want to see a more sensitive side in our partners”
Granted that you don’t believe in shedding tears at the slightest pretext, but being in touch with your feelings is important if you want to connect emotionally to a woman. So the next time your partner suggests taking a late Sunday evening walk, reach out for her hand and hold it gently as you both watch the sun go down behind the trees. Or when your beloved is visibly upset, give her a cuddle and ask her what’s going on instead of merely waiting for her ‘to snap out of it’.
“We want a guy to have values”
No matter what your particular philosophy in life is, if you have certain convictions and are willing to stand up for them, women will respect and love you the more for it. Values like sincerity, generosity, compassion and doing good by others will never go out of fashion. Indeed as society becomes more self-centered and materialistic, these ideals will be valued even higher. The same goes for good manners and the daily courtesies. Pulling out a chair for ladies or helping the elderly to cross the road are not simply evidence of a chivalrous nature but show that your heart’s in the right place.
“Lastly remember cleanliness is next to Godliness”
No matter how nice or rich or smart you are, if you don’t put in a decent level of effort in your appearance, women are unlikely to have anything to do with you, especially if you are looking for a nightcap. So go back to the basics of personal hygiene and every now and then take a tip from the metrosexual male. Even though not every woman wants a Greek god on her arms, she definitely wants and expects her partner to look well-groomed.
At the end of the day it is not that hard to figure out what a woman wants from a guy. Someone to respect her as an individual and to love her in a way that she feels special – apparently, not very different from what guys want in relationships as well!