For all singles interested in a relationship, one of the biggest hurdles is deciding what to look for in a partner. Most of the times, what someone wants depends on the kind of a relationship – casual or long-term – he or she is looking for. Or perhaps the checklist depends on the person’s individual’s likes and dislikes. Despite this unavoidable personal bias, here is a list of essential qualities that you should look for in a partner.
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Good manners may seem old-fashioned in these individualistic times when social etiquettes and niceties matter less than what a person thinks and feels. However every relationship needs a minimum level of courtesy and consideration if it is to function on a daily basis. When the sexual passion has dimmed a little, you will be thankful for the apparently little things that sustain a relationship – your partner pulling up the chair for you, never forgetting your parent’s wedding anniversary and refusing to talk in a loud voice at you no matter what the provocation.
Mutual interests are a great way to cement a relationship in the long run. If you have a couple of interest in common like a love for music, fondness of fusion cuisines or a passion for adventure sports, you both will find it easier to remain connected to each other even after the first flush of romance is over. Common pursuits offer a couple quality time with one another when they can talk of things apart from emotions, personal expectations and relationship issues. Such areas of interest are like an oasis refreshing the emotional lives of the couple and providing them the sustenance to go on.
Sexual chemistry is that unmistakable vibe from your senses telling you that this is person who can make you feel complete and no other. Interestingly you can be attracted to a person not handsome or beautiful in the conventional sense and because this is such a highly individual reaction, it so special and compelling. Sexual attraction is important in bringing two people together but it is rarely enough. So while you may not want to repeat a date with a guy or girl because you are not turned on by him or her, entering into a relationship solely because you cannot keep our hands off a person may not be the right thing to do.
This quality should work both ways – while you need your partner to respect you, he/she should be able to evoke the same kind of regard in you. No matter how great the sex or how generous your partner, if he/she does not respect the person you are including your choices, values and family, you will always feel a lack of self-worth and self-assurance. At the same time, your partner, by dint of merit, good nature or some other quality, should also command your respect without which your love for him/her will never be complete.
This is one of the hardest qualities to evaluate during the first few dates but one of the most important for the success of any relationship. If you find your date losing temper at minor inconveniences, blaming the traffic or an ex for his/her troubles or placing undue importance in what his/her parents or boss has to say, it may mean that the individual is not emotionally mature enough for a relationship. An emotionally mature person should be able to determine the right from wrong, see what factors are within human control from those that are not and yet be able to stand ground on his/her own convictions.
Sense of responsibility.
sense of responsibility in a partner is a major requirement if you are looking for a committed relationship. Your partner should not only be able to look after his/her own self but also take charge of new commitments, expectations and chores that come with long-term relationships like marriage. And even if you don’t intend to settle down in near future, a responsible guy or girl is a definite plus since every relationships needs some level of security and sincerity.
Ability to have fun.
However this is not to say that you should approach a potential partner like choosing your lawyer or doctor. Being in love is all about having fun and enjoying each other’s company. So no wonder that when women are asked on the number one quality they are looking for in their dates, the reply is a sense of humor. A person who can spread joy and smiles around, laugh away the small inconveniences of life, and more importantly laugh at his/her own self is worth holding onto at all costs. Your life will not only be sunnier because of your partner but you may even learn to be more positive on your own.
Knowing what a person wishes to do in future is crucial if you want avoid heartache in your relationship. Chances of a successful relationship are much higher when both partners share broad aspirations with regard to career, family, post-retirement decisions and so on. While this is not to say that future plans are always inflexible and can never change with changing situations, having widely varying ambitions like a globe-trotting career for one partner and a dream of a close-knit family life for another can throw up unbridgeable barriers in a relationship.
When two people have a similar take on life, love and spirituality, it is easier for them to meet the many challenges of life. This does not imply that people from different religious or cultural backgrounds cannot have a successful relationship but that two people are better able to pull tougher if they have a common understanding on what is and is not important in life.
Human nature being imperfect as it is, not all desirable qualities are likely to be found in a single person. Ultimately who you settle for will be guided by what kind of a relationship you want and the degree to which each of the above qualities are important to you.