The paradox of modern times is that even though people have more money to spend now and wider interests to spend on than before, they need to work extra hard to earn that extra money. It all boils down to busy men and women who barely have the time to plan dates with care, let alone have a fulfilling love life. If you are stuck with one of those super-busy partners who always seems to be rushing, here are a few dating tips.
What is he/she busy with?
The first thing you need to consider when a partner seems “always busy” is what they are busy with. If your partner is already in a relationship, it is likely that he/she is having trouble juggling two or more partners at the same time. For instance if your partner is a married woman, she may not only have a home and job to take care of but also a husband and kids to look after. If you find yourself in such a situation, it is always better to opt out and look for someone with whom you will come first.
Differentiate the busy from the indifferent
Work is however the most common reason why partners get to busy to date. However here too you need to find out that your busy date is not using his/her work schedule to get away from you. It could be that your partner no longer wants to see you and is thus making excuses like an upcoming project or an out-of-town tour to put you off. To know this for sure, ask yourself if it has now been more than a few weeks in a row that your date has been unavailable. Whenever you ask him/her if you both can get together, does your partner always say that he/she has got an open house, or appointment, or convention going on. Yet another way you can differentiate overwork from indifference is the ease with which you are communicating. If you cannot even talk to your partner on the phone for two minutes at a stretch or if he/she never replies to your emails and text messages, chances are that he/she does not wish to hear from you. No matter how much a guy or girl is inundated with work, they are hardly likely to be too busy to give you a call during a break or meet you for a quick lunch. If you honestly believe that the reason why your partner appears so busy is to get away from you rather than wading through a massive workload, then it could be better to find someone who can make more time for you.
Being busy may mean it is not the right time
However a busy person need not always mean the wrong choice for a partner. If you wish to see much more of the guy or girl you are dating and he/she replies that they are too busy to commit additional time for socializing, then it may not be the right time for him/her to get serious in a relationship. Probably he/she wishes to do much more with their lives right now and the thought of spending time dating the same person – and maybe doing the same things over and over – does not appeal to them very much. Perhaps they started out late in their careers and are making up for lost time. Or perhaps they wish to achieve a certain degree of financial or professional success before they think of settling down to an exclusive relationship.
Too many interests
Then there are people who like being involved in a whole lot of hobbies, interests and clubs; they are usually full of energy and feel the need to be constantly trying out new things and engaging with newer experiences . The familiar is boring and unattractive to them. If you think that your partner likes to be busy in varied activities and hobbies, consider pepping yourself up to join him/her. Even if his/her interests are not the same as yours, who knows you may pick up something that you truly enjoy.
Make a few adjustments
For busy people it makes no sense to cram up social schedules with events they don’t enjoy. So if you wish to go on dates with your busy partner, suggest something that will appeal to his/her interests and let you both enjoy each other’s company at the same time. This will not only make your date feel enthusiastic about another late evening, but indeed bring out the best of his/her humor or liveliness. So if your partner likes to discuss Monet or Renoir, consider organizing a date around an art exhibition or spending an afternoon at the art gallery. Also whenever you can, combine two different activities into one. For instance instead of asking your partner to spend an entire evening with you – as you would do on a normal date – invite him/her to join you for a quick lunch on a regular working day. Meet up half-way with your partner if you can get away from work longer than usual, or invite him/her to a nice café near your workplace. And then over a cup of latte and small eats, you can spend some quality time with each other. This way your partner need not have wasted a whole evening and at the same time, given a boost to your personal life. Then again, even though you cannot be at your partner’s 'beck and call' all the time, be open to accepting a spontaneous invitation to lunch or a late dinner when he/she is available as long as you don't simply become a 'booty-call'.
Keep it short and sweet
Even when he/she is busy at work or away at another town, encourage your partner to keep in touch you by sending him/her a very short 'thinking of you' text. By doing this you stay on your partner’s mind and make him/her smile without creating a fuss.
Be honest about your needs
Dating someone who is always busy is not everybody’s cup of tea. Some people like to feel closer – both physically and emotionally – to their partners than others. If despite your best efforts you feel that your needs are not being met in this relationship, it may be time for you to move on. On the other hand you could pick up an engaging job or some interesting hobbies which would fill your spare time and make you less dependent on your partner for socializing.