Dating Someone Who Has a Sense of Entitlement

In normal interactions, people seem to have a sixth sense about avoiding personalities that are marked by a sense of entitlement; there are only a few amongst us who would voluntarily associate with snobs, judging and demanding people. And yet somehow while dating, many seem to get stuck with high-maintenance partners marked by entitlement mentality. It could be the supreme self-confidence or an external physical attraction that draws many to partners with a sense of entitlement. In the long run though such relationships tend to be problematic and here is what you should watch out for when dating someone who has a sense of entitlement.

Know the signs

Since an entitled mentality expresses itself in a rather similar way to that of a high level of self-assurance it is not always easy to spot a person with a sense of entitlement unless you have been well and truly caught up in his/her charms. However certain signs can alert you to the person behind the suave exterior from the beginning. People with a sense of entitlement usually think they are special, above the rest of the ordinary run of humans and that the world owes them special treatment. In terms of behavior you would notice such a man or woman talking and acting like the world revolves around him/her. He would probably be used to peppering his conversations with names of the most expensive restaurants, stores, cars, vacation destinations and the like as if those other “ordinary” things are really not part of their world. He/she would be extremely conscious to avoid anything “middle class”. These kinds of people are known for treating waiters and other service industry employees not as human beings but rather as their servants. Also when you accompany them to a store, you would notice that as they buy  something, they subconsciously act as though they are doing that store a favor. The crucial sign that marks such people  is that they would not ask for things but expect things to be done for them or given to them.

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It is all about him/her

The biggest consequence of dating someone with a sense of entitlement is that very soon you will find that there is only one person in the relationship and that is him/her. Such a person will always put his own needs before everyone else’s. You will find yourself getting ready for a dinner out whether you feel like it or not, simply because your partner is free this evening. If you are in a relationship with him/her, you may find that it is perpetually about his/her likes and dislikes, feelings and requirements. On a more serious note, if you start sharing a life with him/her, you may find yourself working two to three shifts because she wants to go on Caribbean cruise for the coming holidays or he has his eyes on the latest 52-inch LCD TV model. Some amount of selflessness in natural in a relationship but when it is about fulfilling the needs and priorities of one partner, only and always, the equation is completely skewed in favor of the partner with the sense of entitlement.

Loss of self-worth

People with a sense of entitlement look for partners who have confidence issues. A person with rather low self-esteem and a hesitant nature would not only be easily attracted to the superior self-confidence of an entitled personality but indeed the latter would feed off the low self-worth of the former. A man or woman with a sense of entitlement needs a partner with lack of self-assurance who would always put his/her needs and priorities ahead and who would support his/her inflated view of the self. The unfortunate thing is that dating such a person will push a weak partner further down the confidence index. A man or woman who is already unsure of him/herself and tries his/her best to love and support the partner will eventually find that he/she has to give even more and that he/she can never really please the partner enough which in turn will make him/ her feel even less worthy. Thus if you break the bank to buy a present for such a partner, he/she would be far from surprised, grateful or even pleased – your date would  simply act as if that was totally expected and maybe even imply that he/she should have been gifted with something long time ago or that he/she was expecting something more expensive.

Never the person’s fault

Another aspect of dating someone with a sense of entitlement is that in case things go wrong, he/she will make everything out to be your fault. If he has had an affair, he would blame you for not giving him/her enough attention or if she has been irresponsible with money, then she would explain it as a way of getting back at you for not caring enough. A need to be right and be seen as the good guy are the hallmarks of an entitled mentality but what makes all this worse in case of a relationship is that such impulses are usually masked by a charismatic and charming personality, which in the event of a conflict with you, would compel others to see things from his/her point of view and thus even in the eyes of the world, you would be made out the one to blame.

Insecure at heart

If you find yourself drawn to a person with a sense of entitlement, it could be wise to ask yourself, where is this coming from? An entitled mentality usually hides a deeply insecure personality – it is because this person is actually unsure about his/her capabilities and achievements that he/she talks and behaves as though the world revolves around him/her. In this perspective it only becomes easier to differentiate real self-confidence from a sense of entitlement. People who are truly gifted, successful and loved do not go seeking attention and more importantly they don’t put down others – they simply don’t need to. Really successful and confident people know that their achievements and deeds are enough to do all the talking. People with a sense of entitlement on the other hand are deeply insecure people at heart who need to act like they are worth a lot and deserve all the attention for the simple reason that they have nothing besides their attitude to show for themselves.