Laziness is usually seen as a personal foible – if a guy or woman is lazy, he/she will suffer at school and at the workplace but not everybody concludes that he/she will have a miserable personal life or be socially unpopular. However the truth is that being a slacker can hamper relationships too – while the lazy person may not think much if he/she arrives half an hour late or cannot be bothered to put on a clean shirt for a date, it is quite uncomfortable for a partner to carry on with this kind carelessness on a regular basis. So if you are dating someone lazy, here are a few things you might want to keep in mind.
Spot a slacker
One of the first things to do is to spot a really lazy person, since most of the times slacking is passed off as taking a sabbatical, a break or being in between jobs. If you find your date coming up with similar excuses, watch out for his/her work ethic. A red flag would be a person who is only interested in a job that is easy. Though it is important to enjoy what you do for a living, a man or woman whose only criteria for working is the ease of a job is more likely to be lazy and incapable of taking up a challenge. An example is the guy who is still living with his parents to save on boarding and lodging or the woman who is working in burger joints well into her thirties. In some cases there may be extenuating circumstances - like a bereavement in the family or a depressive episode - why a man or woman may be taking it easy, but all things being equal, if a guy or woman seems only concerned to have a soft job, he or she is unlikely to be worried about retirement or securing his/her financial future.
Out of job
Another variation of the lazy personality is an inability to stick to a job. There are many men who seem to be chronically unemployed or women who are perpetually in-between jobs, even though there are no other commitments like bringing up a child or looking after aged parents. These people will have had many past jobs in the past and are not likely to go very far in a career – more often than not, they will be out of work. Such people are usually ready with excuses like no one appreciates their potential or that they have high-flying plans and projects which only need a little more time or just a bit of capital to take off. Beware of entangling yourself with such partners since this is not only evidence of an inability to take responsibility but may even indicate a tendency to sponge on financially well-off people.
How you stand to lose
On the most obvious level, dating someone really lazy makes for a precarious personal life. If your date is a man, he will be financially weak and hardly ever be able to take you out in style that you deserve to, much less pamper you with all the finer things of life. Even if you are the guy, dating a lazy woman may mean that she might come to depend on you for footing her bills rather than work to fend for herself. And should you take care to keep finances separate, very soon you may tire of the mess and disorder in the domestic space in case you are living with your partner. He/she may simply ignore his/her chores and responsibilities and leave you to do everything around the house. And even if you are just dating each other casually and not sharing a house, the series of late appearances and lack of good grooming skills in a partner may add up to be a turn-off.
The biggest danger is that chronic laziness could lead to complete lack of financial security – your partner is likely to be already under substantial debt and therefore unlikely to be able to afford taking anymore financial responsibilities in your relationship. Thus all major expenses would probably have to be borne by you – whether you want to go fine dining or take off for a short weekend vacation, it is your paycheck that will be on the line.
Then again it is not just about money or lack of it. A man or woman who is lazy implies he/she is not interested in a gainful occupation – endless hours of leisure, the lack of a challenging environment and absence of peer group could all turn his/her mind to potentially dangerous and unlawful concerns. Your guy may start idling in bars, wasting time with hookers or worse fall victim to substance abuse. Even if your girlfriend merely lounges about in pajamas indoors, such a woman is likely to lose all charm of personality over time.
The bright side
However If you are careful to simply date a lazy person and not start living together or even imagining a future together, you may find that the absence of a nine to five routine has its own rewards. There will be no need for you to adjust your schedule to your date’s since he/she is most likely free all day. He/she will thus be game to meet you at any time of your convenience and perhaps maybe even run some errands for you.
Finally the very interpretation of being lazy may vary from one culture and community to another – those who take afternoon siestas are represented as lazy by people who do not. Conversely people from less material cultures do not understand the money-making frenzy that people in the biggest financial centers of the world are engaged in. At the end of the day, it may all boil down to perspective – what popular representations typecast as lazy may be someone who is merely uninterested in mainstream money-making activities or simply more laidback than others. So go through your own emotional needs and life goals closely and then see if the person you are dating is really lazy or just not in sync with your priorities and requirements in life.