While conventional ideas of romance would like us to believe that love and money have nothing to do with each other, real life works entirely differently. Even meeting new singles and dating involves some amount of expenses - whether you are a guy and taking a girl out or are being taken out and wish to spend on your appearance. Indeed increasingly women are bearing dating expenses as their earning power rises. For all these reasons the employment status of a guy becomes quite important when you are dating and here are a few things to consider if you discover that your date is unemployed.
Keep an open mind
Your first reaction upon hearing that a guy is unemployed may be to discount his financial status – after all how can a guy afford a relationship if he does not have a job. But then you need to keep in mind that nine to five jobs are not the only sources of income. A guy can be between jobs, taking a sabbatical after putting in several years of forty-hour working weeks or simply a rich heir who does not need to go to put on a suit and commute to downtown. In fact you date may actually be self-employed but when you hear it, you decode it as not having any proper employment. All these are situations that should not deter you from dating a guy, if he meets other criteria like a warm personality, sense of humor, shared interests and sexual chemistry. Since you are only thinking of dating him, his lack of a steady job should have no bearing on your current financial status. So relax and enjoy the attentions of a guy even if he does not come with a day job.
Facts and figures
For all the effort to keep an open mind, somewhere the lack of present source of income does create an impact on women’s minds. It could be because centuries of evolution have hardwired women into going for male partners with ample resources or it could simply be the remnants of a patriarchal system where women still expect to trade their looks and youth in return for material comfort. Whatever the reason, an overwhelming majority of women are reluctant to date an unemployed guy. A June 2012 survey1 carried out by the dating service "It's Just Lunch" found that overall, 75 percent of women were reluctant to date an unemployed man, with 33 percent saying no outright. Another 42 percent of women answered maybe when asked about the possibility of dating an unemployed man. That answer, however, came with the rider that if the man did not have a plan in place, they would not want to spend a lot of time in the relationship. Only 21 percent of women said they would be willing to date an unemployed man. Interestingly though the lack of employment in case of women seems to matter less to men; 19 percent of men said they had no reservations and 46 percent of men said they were positive they would date an unemployed woman.
Lack of resources
On the most obvious level, dating an unemployed guy makes for a precarious personal life. If your date is without a job, he will not be able to take you out in style that you deserve to, much less pamper you with all the finer things of life. It is the dream of almost everyone woman to be indulged by a date, if only on special occasions. However a man who has no steady source of income is unlikely to be able to lavish gifts and presents on you.
Strain on your savings
Dating an unemployed man could not only mean that you will not get to be pampered but that sometime down the line, your own resources may be come under strain. You may even find yourself lending your date some pocket money all too often or filling up his car with gas. Such a person is likely to be already under substantial debt and therefore unlikely to be able to afford taking anymore financial responsibilities in your relationship. Thus all major expenses would probably have to be borne by you – whether you want to go fine dining or take off for a short weekend vacation, it is your paycheck that will be on the line; a long dating relationship with this person could thus leave your finances well depleted.
For many women, dating an unemployed man is not simply about financial resources. A guy who does not have a job implies someone who does not have a gainful occupation – endless hours of leisure, the lack of a challenging environment and absence of peer group could all turn his mind to potentially dangerous and unlawful concerns. He may start idling in bars, wasting time with hookers or worse fall victim to substance abuse. Even if he may merely lounges about in pajamas indoors, such a guy is likely to lose all charm of personality over time. Again other women feel that is important to date a successful guy not simply because they want to be taken care of but to avoid any future conflict if their male partners felt insecure about them earning more.
While dating an unemployed guy is not such a serious matter as marrying one, it does warrant certain precautions. Needless to say you should avoid lending him your credit or debit card, no matter how great the temptation. Also keep PIN numbers of such cards to yourself since he may easily ‘borrow’ them and then conveniently forget to tell you about it. For the same reason, don’t give away passwords of your online bank accounts and other financial resources. Above all keep your bank accounts separate and should your date request you to apply for a joint loan or sign as a guarantor on some investment, refuse politely but firmly or at least have the document checked by your own attorney or accountant.
Look at the bright side
If you are careful to simply date an unemployed man casually and not start imagining a future together, you may find that the absence of a nine to five routine has its own rewards even. There wil be no need for you to adjust your schedule to his since he is most likely free all day. He will thus be game to meet you at any time of your convenience and perhaps maybe even run some errands for you. In you both are in a steady relationship, he will be home to take care of chores or even pick up your kids from school, if you have any. However keep in mind that this situation is similar to having a stay-at-home partner, which in turn could bring its own ups and downs.