So you thought, you’d just meet the rich man of your dreams, flash a smile and he’d be yours. No, it’s not that easy. There’s this teeny weeny little hitch. He has to like you back and you have to get past your first date.
Long conversations on telephones, meeting at odd hours, taking off suddenly for the weekend, smiling for no reason and other such true love-ish type things will happen to you. But you have to get past the first date. You took special care about your appearance. Your dress is handpicked, the shoes are coordinated, the handbag is classy and not to mention your hair—just out of a shampoo commercial. But what about the first date? Whether it's dinner, coffee or just the frozen yoghurt store, he will be gauging you as a potential partner. The first date is like a pre-qualification test. So apart from your appearance, there are a few things you have to remember not to bring up on your first date.
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Don't ever talk about your ex-boyfriends. This is a sure shot put-off. Just do not mention them at all. No “You remind me of…” or “I watched the movie with…” Just don’t. Also don’t brag that you’ve dated a lot. Don’t share the magic number—he definitely does not want to know if he’s the 18th guy that year. Also not a good thing to discuss--crushes and infatuations. Why would you?
Trust me when I say this. He does not want to know about the great sex you had when you were in college. This one’s definitely worse than the “ex-boyfriends”. Do not bring up your sex life…at all. Do not share details about that crazy night after a rock concert, when you went backstage and hooked up with the bass guitarist. Also remember that time at the sorority house where you kissed a girl…don’t even think about brining it up tonight. There will be ample time later, to share these things and you could even make a game out of it “Who’s wildest?”—and the loser can make blueberry pancakes. But right now is not the time. Focus on the date. Talking about your conquests is crass.
Stay away from topics about your future together, your marriage, what you want to name your kids. Also do not be presumptuous and indicate any future activities together, like a second date. Do not say things like “We should go to that Italian place the next time”. There will come a time in your relationship when you can say this naturally and it will sound just perfect to him. But the first date is not the right time. Also, at the end of the date, do not ask him if he’s going to call you. Just be your stunning self, smile and say you had a great time. Be assured that if both of you had a good time, he will call you.
Don’t ever talk about meeting the parents on the first date. This is fairly simple to understand and expect. There should be no talk of wanting to introduce him to your mother. Some people think it’s too early to talk about introducing him to your girl friends too. But depending on how the evening goes, you can use your discretion about this one.
Do not talk about your sister’s drug addiction or the property issues your family is going through. You are out to have a good time and these things will only end up upsetting you and making him uncomfortable. If he knows about your issues and inquires, be polite and respond in brief. Steer the conversation to happier things. There will be many bonding sessions over coffee in the future, when you can let your guard down completely.
Please don’t talk about his money, how much he will inherit from his family, his assets, bonds, investments, his father’s will, etc. This will only make you look like a gold digger. Carry yourself with dignity. Classy rich men do not like to talk about their money and he will definitely not appreciate your nosy questions about his bank balance.
Let it be known that if you talk about your body and how hot people think you look, it will not go down well with him. Talking endlessly about how your legs are flawless and how pilates helped get your derriere in shape will not turn him on. In any case, that is not the purpose of this date.
No conversations about his body. No “Oh my God, your biceps are so huge. I bet you have a six-pack”. Questions about an exercise or fitness regime are acceptable as long as they’re positioned as polite questions about activities. So it’s fine to say “I go running thrice a week but I really love tennis. I am looking to join a sports club”. This gives him a chance to tell you if he likes to swim and play tennis. Who knows, may be your second date maybe a tennis lesson or two.
For the love of God, do not even think of confiding about what turns you on, the fact that a little kinkiness works for you or you like your man to dress up like a pirate. So maybe eating oysters works like an aphrodisiac for you and you are already visualizing what he looks like tied up in silk scarves, but do not talk about it. Instead bring up something safe to talk about, like his work. Again, when you get past the first date and the second and fifth, there will be ample opportunity to explore these aspects.
Believe it or not, men do not like to hear that the women they are involved with used to get all dressed up and go out with girl friends with the sole intention of hooking up with strange men from the bar. So you’ve had your girl’s night outs and it’s been great fun…almost like a hunt, but do not talk about it on your first date. Men do the same thing, and think how it will make you feel if he bragged about it.
So restrain yourself from bragging about past conquests and don’t indulge in self pity or be remorseful about the way you handled your career. This date is all about happy conversations - stuff that brings out his smile and makes him want to ask you out again—maybe tomorrow!