Text messages have in recent times emerged as the preferred form of distance flirting – for one it is quick, can be done anywhere and is convenient when you don’t want everybody around you to know that what you are up to. What text messages lack on audio and visual cues, they sure make up in convenience and speed. So if you have been eyeing the guy in your office or gym for quite some time now, here are some tips on starting the flirting game with him, armed with nothing more than a cell phone and his phone number.
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The cardinal rule of any flirting game, whether face to face or through text-messaging, is to make the first move. Things will simply not take off if you do not initiate contact; while in face to face meetings, there is still some scope for visual communication, when equipped with nothing but a cell phone, you need to be ready to reach out instead of waiting endlessly for him to call you. So shrug off your inhibitions and pick up your phone. You can start off with a light greeting or simple ‘hi’ or a light-hearted message as “Those lovely eyes, that dazzling smile, such a brain – OK enough about me, so how you’ve been doing?” And then move on to naughtier territory.
Keep it light
Flirting is a fun thing so don’t let your chat wade into serious waters. While you are text messaging to the guy, avoid somber topics like politics and religion; instead stick to light topics such as movies, music and even the weather from where it would be easier to launch a full-frontal flirting. Also remember to limit the length of your texts. When you’re just flirting, keep your texts to a sentence or two at a time. If you tell him everything there’s no reason he’ll want to see you again soon. A great way is to go for the "getting to know you" questions that he can hopefully answer in just a few sentences. Even then avoid getting too “personal” here and instead keep it casual like “If you could be anywhere right now where would you be?” Or “What’s the single most badass thing you’ve done in the last 10 minutes?”. The advantage of this approach is that it keeps you in safe territory and lets the guy lead the conversation which way he will.
On the other hand if you feel a little more confident, you can go ahead with text messages that build up the anticipation of a future date or send his imagination on a rampage. For instance you could type, “When I see you tonight I’m going to . . .” And when he replies, “What?”, you can leave him with a mysterious “Oh, you’ll find out…” Or perhaps a flirty text like “Can I have your picture so that I can show Santa what I gotta have for Christmas?”
If you begin getting the right vibes from the guy, maybe you could even turn up the heat a few notches with texts like “If I said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?” Or perhaps, with a naughty joke like
“Which Part of a man's body
has no bones,
is full of veins,
and responsible for
The answer is HEART!!! But I luv the way u think...”
Make it personal
When flirting with a guy over text messaging, use his name once every few texts, especially when you’re saying something complimentary or cute. This makes the exchange of texts so much more personal and intimate. And if you do have a pet name for him, make sure you use that often too.
Absence of audio and visual cues
Texts are just words with no audio or visual hints about what the other person is thinking. In a traditional flirting, inflection and pitch of a guy’s voice can be important indicators as to his motives and inclinations; likewise visual cues are crucial whether when initiating contact or taking the flirting game to a higher level. Even with phone calls, you can hear what a guy said and how he said it. Because of the absence of audio and visual cues, flirting through text messaging not only loses out on important aids but in fact texting often leads to confusion and misunderstanding. In order to compensate for this lack of audio and visual cues, try and use smiley faces, exclamation points and emoticons. These will not only help you to convey the emotion that you wish to but also avoid misunderstanding and make the implication of your text messages crystal clear.
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Use emoticons judiciously
At the same time though keep in mind that smiley faces and exclamation points are notoriously easy to overuse. Inserting emoticons and smileys in your text indiscriminately can lead them to lose their effect after a while. Then again there may be times when you would like to be a little ambiguous and keep him guessing as to the real import of your words. Keeping your text messages bare of emotional cues can be a delicious way to build up some tension and mystery and thus take your flirtations to a whole new level. So find a balance that works for you by using cues that imply your intensions but do not reveal all.
An important text messaging feature is the autocorrect option and in most phones, this is enabled by default. However autocorrect options can often lead to spellings or abbreviations which may have embarrassing meanings. So before you hit the send button, make sure your text says exactly what you mean.
Don’t show your desperation
Even if you are crazy about this guy, avoid sending more than two texts in a row without a response guys in general don’t carry their phone with them as often as girls so he may take some time to send a reply. Even if you know he has his cell phone with him, never ask him why he hasn’t answered yet – such a question reeks of desperation and will only make him avoid you all the more.
Make sure you are comfortable with the texts you are sending. Sexting and sending sexy pictures can seem fun at first but they can actually spoil a harmless bout of flirtation. Before you press the send option on a sex-text, stop a moment and consider what the recipient will think of you when he receives that that cutesy but racy photo or highly erotic text message. In all probability you are sending across the message that you are sexually available and even sexually promiscuous. Instead of making you seem attractive, the sex-text actually makes you come off as cheap and plain desperate. Worse still, these messages are going to be out there for everyone to see. A guy may show it to his friends to brag about his female admirers. Or the relationship may go sour and he’ll use it against you. Keep in mind that any sexually explicit content you send or share through digital means will always remain in cyberspace. This is because once something appears on the Internet, it’s there forever.
Know when to sign off
If you want to flirt with a guy over text, you need to keep it interesting. Once the conversation starts to get even a tad bit boring, end it and tell him that you’ll text him back later. This will not only help you come back with more ideas but most importantly ensure that his interest in you won’t wear off soon.