Dealing with a woman who's a tease

Women love to use their sexuality. It is one of their most powerful weapons to reduce normal, intelligent men to slobbering, salivating idiots. Sometimes it is a woman’s way of exacting payment for whatever grouse they have against the male species in general.

At other times, women may not even have any such devious motives. They simply enjoy flaunting their sexuality and reveling in the effect they have on men. It is a way of reinforcing their attractiveness to themselves.

But there is a certain kind of woman who uses her sexuality for the express purpose of toying with a man. She titillates and has him at her mercy, and just when he thinks he’s got her where he wants her, she withdraws. And leaves him panting for more. This is the tease.

To a lot of women, flirting is a harmless game that a man enjoys as much as they do. What is it that separates a tease from other women who are just flirting casually?

For one, a tease will be more brazen and use sexual overtures, coming on pretty strong. Her whole appearance will scream that she’s there for the taking and will lure a man to approach her. If not, she has enough ammunition to do it herself.

She will dangle the promise of sexual favors, which she knows is bait enough for any red-blooded male, and sufficient to turn him into putty in her hands. She uses her charming wiles to draw him closer and make him think he will get lucky before the night is through. She also has an uncanny knack of sensing the kind of man who will be most susceptible to her charms.

He will buy her drinks and dinner; cater to her every whim, but he will still find himself left out in the cold. And therein lies the catch. Once she has got whatever she is after, attention, money, a freeloading adventure, she will drop him like the proverbial hot potato. Leaving him wonderin what just happened.

Her whole agenda focuses on making empty promises that she definitely does not intend to keep. She builds up the expectations and has him making plans, which of course never come to fruition.

And often, nobody else will do. She has built up the man's hopes to such a level that he has to have her; anybody else is second best. And in his desperation, he is willing to do anything, at the risk of sacrificing his male pride and ego. And being skilled in the game, she knows it and is stringing him along for all she is worth, while secretly laughing at him. What is it that makes a woman a tease?

Is it a form of exacting vengeance because someone has hurt her in the past and she is afraid to trust again? For her teasing is safe, she knows it will never amount to anything on her side. She likes to unleash the passion in a man, while keeping a tight rein on her own emotions. She may be in some way appeasing her darker side, just enjoying the thrill of playing a dangerous game. Or she may just want things easy, content to let some poor sucker pick up the tab, and she will get away with giving nothing in return. And of course, sometimes, there are no deeper motives; just the simple fun that is to be had in leading a man on and making him squirm with discomfort when he has to come away unfulfilled.

But teasing can be a very deadly game, especially if taken too far. There are men who cannot be dangled too long, and when push comes to shove, they will make it clear they are not going away empty-handed. Things can get ugly, especially if he cannot tolerate being made a fool of and can resort to using force to get what he sees as his due.

To avoid landing yourself in this soup that is more trouble than it is worth, become an expert in identifying a tease and stay away. You have to hone your skills, and sometimes this comes from the sheer experience of having been toyed with before and come away a loser.

Or if you are up for it and have yourself developed considerable skill in this sport, take her on. After all, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. If you find yourself already in her radar and she’s set her sights on you, besides turning tail and running, you could try beating her at her own game. But make sure you’re absolutely capable of taking her on; else you might be biting off more than you can chew.

Never give her the pleasure of seeing she’s getting to you. Do not ever show her the effect she’s having on you, either physical or emotional. Flirt with her in return.

Or if you’re really an expert, and you know what you’re doing, let her think she’s having the desired results, and then do an about-face and leave her hanging.

And if at all you happen to have missed all the obvious signs or she’s perfected the art of being subtle (which is all the more dangerous) and you’ve been an easy target thus far, it’s not too late to open your eyes and realize you’re being taken for a ride. You should know you’re too far gone, if your friends tell you she’s trying similar tricks on them, and you refuse to believe it. Give them a fair chance and let them prove it to you. And when it’s confirmed, run as hard and as fast as you can - in the opposite direction.

But if she’s already milked you dry and you think it's payback time, you could take her for a fancy dinner. And on the pretext of visiting the cloakroom, you could discreetly get out…of the restaurant...and her life…leaving her to pick up the tab.