Sometimes despite your best efforts, a guy or girl may not respond to a relationship with the level of warmth and commitment that you hope for. Some may prefer to be upfront and tell you that this relationship is going nowhere while others may idle along and hope that sooner or later you see the writing on the wall. In case of the second situation, here are ten signs that should tell you that you are wasting your time in a relationship.
- There is nothing to say to each other
Living in silence is often the first warning sign that all is not right in the relationship. However do not confuse this with the companionable silence that couples share in a long, satisfied marriage. There it is a case of two people knowing each other so well as to be comfortable in their silence and not having the need to make small conversation. But in case of a disintegrating relationship, the silence makes for an arid, loveless atmosphere where two people have nothing to share anymore.
- You don’t have any common interests
Remember the early days of dating when you tried out so many pursuits together? While it is natural that over time each partner finds his or her own niche in the relationship, it is unusual for the spouses to give up all shared interests. If you find that you no longer do anything fun or interesting together, consider it as a warning sign on the health of your relationship.
- Your partner runs out of date ideas
Once you have gone out for a dinner and a dance with this person, he/she will probably run out of ideas on what next to do. Even worse, you partner seems to dismiss everything you suggest. Only a man or woman really attracted to you would try and come up with creative date ideas that include fun, shared activities and the outdoors. If someone seems bored being with you or ready to meet only for a roll in the sack, then it is likely you are wasting your time with this person.
- Physical appearances no longer matter
In the early days of a relationship, couples take great care of how they appear to each other. Over time as the comfort level increases in a relationship, partners become much more relaxed about the need to look “perfect” for each other. However if you find that your partner has undergone a sudden sharp decline in matters of appearances and hygiene, it could be because your partner no longer cares whether or not you find them desirable. This complete lack of interest is an indication that your partner is no longer happy in the relationship and couldn’t care less whether you stay or leave. Under such circumstances, you could be simply wasting your time, dragging on with such a relationship.
- You keep arguing about the same issues in the same way
If discussions on your relationship seem to have got stuck in a rut with the same arguments again and again, it is evident that your relationship is in trouble. The inability to communicate thoughts and feelings effectively is often the initial step towards a breakdown in a relationship.
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- You don’t figure in your partner’s plans
When talking about his future, does your partner merely discuss his/her goals of starting a business someday and are his/her dreams limited to retiring by the sea with their very own beach house and luxury boat? If so or something similar, then this is an indication that you are not part of your partner’s future plans and thus unlikely to remain together for long. Unless of course, he/she goes through a life-changing experience and realizes the value of a committed relationship which is again putting too much store by chance and therefore not worth wasting your time for.
- He/she doesn’t ask you about yours
In a reversal of the above point, a guy or a woman who is not into you will also be uninterested to know about your life goals and hopes for the future. The present - comfortably carefree and uncomplicated - is good enough for him/her. He/she does not want to know if you want to eventually settle in the suburbs or how many kids would you like to have. If you find all this true in case of your date, then it is better you stop wasting your time in this relationship and start looking for a guy or girl who is ready to be more emotionally invested in you.
- You don’t meet each others families
One of the surest signs that a relationship has a future is when partners feel ready to bring their respective families into the picture. An individual would wish his/her parents or children from a previous relationship to know about a partner only if the latter meant something more than a casual date. If on the other hand an individual keeps his/her love life and family life apart, there is little chance of the relationship continuing in the long run and you may be wasting your time here.
- You do not share basic values
No matter how strong the sexual chemistry, a relationship can only last when two people share the basic values on life and love. And if this is not the case in your relationship, maybe you are wasting your time. This is not to say that love cannot happen between people of different cultural or religious backgrounds but that for a relationship to survive in the long run, it helps if they feel the same way on what is and is not important in life. For instance if two people believe in living life according to the similar moral or cultural principles, then you have better chances of staying together. On the other hand you feel that it is better to be honest and live a reasonably comfortable life while your partner wishes to climb the corporate ladder no matter what the ethical cost, you might come across an unbridgeable divide in your relationship, sooner or later.
- There is no longer any intimacy in your relationship
Sex is an important indicator of the health of a relationship. Even though it is not necessary for you and your partner to have exactly the same sexual preferences – it would get boring if it does – you both should be able to understand and respond with empathy to each others sexual needs. In case your relationship completely lacks any understanding of this sort, it may be better to opt out rather than waste your time in such a barren relationship.