Intimacy between lovers, no matter how powerful and passionate, has a tendency to fade over time. When having sex with your husband starts to feel boring and more like a chore than a reward, some kind of action must be taken. Over time a dissatisfying sexual relationship can have numerous adverse affects on a marriage.
First off you have to realize that intimacy involves more than just sex. Strong communication is vital in any relationship. If you and your husband feel closed off from each other, this has a way of trickling into your physical relationship. Emotional intimacy is the basis for any truly meaningful sexual relationship. Make sure that you and your husband have affectionate moments throughout the day. This may consist of hugging, cuddling, holding hands, kissing, hugging or just sweet nothings being spoken for no reason. Next time you and your husband are watching television together, try sitting on his lap. It may seem a bit out of left field at first, but typically men don't mind being physically close to the women they love. These types of things can make your husband happy, and happy sex beats sad sex.
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A sexual relationship has to consist of mutual interest. While you find sex with your husband to be boring, mundane, and thoroughly unenjoyable, your husband may have similar thoughts about sex with you. But he still seems to want to have sex with you? Well the fact is that men have an easier time preparing themselves for a good physical sensation, and an easier time finishing it up. If you find sex with your husband to be boring, it's likely that he's not viewing the intimacy as it should be viewed in a healthy sexual relationship either. When your intimacy no longer feels pleasurable, chances are that he's caught onto this, but he just doesn't know what to do about it so he's opted not to care.
When you first move into an intimate relationship, the sex often finds a way to be exceptional based on the intensity of the new found attraction. Married couples, or couples who have been together for a long period of time have one major advantage in the bedroom though: trust. As an eternally bonded married couple, inserting excitement into your sex life is a much more feasible process than inserting trust into a thrilling sex life would be for a new couple. Being in an established relationship you're automatically in a much better position to suggest new ideas and try new things. When sex has become boring it's time to throw your inhibitions out the window and be straightforward with regards to what types of things you'd like to do. Try suggesting role playing to your husband. It's very likely that your husband has had many sexual fantasies that go beyond “boyfriend and girlfriend have sex in bed”. Most men have at least somewhat of a history in watching pornography (especially in the modern era of free easy access internet porn), and pornography tends to present sex in a variety of different scenarios, a few of which your husband has probably grown particularly keen towards. Also, it's likely that your husband, in his adolescent days of first discovering his sexuality, had numerous fantasies about celebrities, teachers, friends or people he barely knew. These people could have come from any walk of life and among them were probably a few that he fantasized about repeatedly. Pry him about these fantasies. Through role playing, or any derivative there of (many fantasies can be acted out with no role playing necessary), you may be able to strike a chord that sends your husband into a frenzy of sexual energy that he hadn't tapped into in years.
Change your sexual routine. Over the course of a marriage, partners become so aware of what exactly is going to be done that it becomes little more than ordinary. When a sexual relationship first ignites, the learning process of what your partner likes and what you like with your partner is part of the intrigue and passion that brings the two of you more intimately together. It's human nature to then go with what works best, as you've now found ecstasy in your sexual relationship. The thing is that what worked best then may not be what works best now. There comes a time to start over. Through all your nights together, you've probably grown accustomed to certain techniques, touches and patterns that you believe are ideal for the sensations of both you and your husband. You won't lose your grasp on these things by altering them. Uncertainties can make sex interesting again, so touch him differently than you have before; surprise him. Demand to try new positions. Think you've tried them all? I doubt it. Check out new sex positions. Taking your intimate relationship in a new direction has the potential to excite your husband. Excitement is an aspect of sex that often gets left behind in a marriage, but it can always be brought back to the forefront.
Try initiating sex in a new location. It may not be quite in your comfort zone, but the key to plowing through sexual boredom is moving beyond your comfort zone. Many people like the idea of sex in a car (don't do it while driving), while others might be turned on by sex on a table. There's any number of places to fool around, so be creative. A change of scenery can do a world of good.
Sex is a crucial part of any marriage, but it's important to always hold on to the things that are ultimately more important. Love, trust, commitment and friendship trump sex every time, so maintain the glue that binds you together outside of the bedroom first and foremost. You'll find that when a relationship is strong that all things tend to come together, even through the lulls.