Love brings with it a whirlwind of emotions – it is makes you want this person, want him/her to want you back; it makes you certain as never before or it befuddles you with conflicting feelings. In all this tumult, one of the questions you dread asking if the relationship has a future for fear that somehow it may spoil things. But then it is only human nature to know what is going to happen next, especially if you believe that this guy/girl is the one for you. While there is no single foolproof formula here are a few questions to ask yourself if you want to know whether your relationship has a future?
How well do you communicate?
Communication is key to a successful relationship of any kind – at the workplace, in your family or with a lover. If you and your partner are going to stay together, it is crucial that you are able to communicate with each other effectively. This is much more than asking your partner about his/her day or reminding him/her to pick up the kids from school. It includes having a meaningful exchange of thoughts, feelings, hopes and anxieties which may or may not be directly related to the relationship but is bound to have some impact on it in the long run.
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Do you share the basic values in life?
No matter how strong the sexual chemistry, a relationship can only last when two people share the basic values on life and love. This is not to say that love cannot happen between people of different cultural or religious backgrounds but that for a relationship to survive in the long run, it helps if they feel the same way on what is and is not important in life. For instance if you feel that it is better to be honest and live a reasonably comfortable life while your partner wishes to climb the corporate ladder no matter what the ethical cost, you might come across an unbridgeable divide in your relationship, sooner or later. On the other hand if you and your beloved believe in living life according to the similar moral or cultural principles, then you have better chances of staying together.
Are your financial priorities similar?
Money issues are one of the most common reasons for breakups once a couple start living together. If you and your partner think alike on spending and saving, investment and expenses then you are among the lucky few who are financially compatible. This not only makes it easier to run the household and save for emergency costs but also makes vacations and major indulgences much more affordable. In the end you both can live the good life and best of all enjoy its pleasures together.
Do you enjoy doing the same things?
There is only so much time that you can spend socializing with friends or having sex. Eventually in a long term relationship, couples need to find other things to do together. Having mutual interests or hobbies thus augur well for a shared future since these make it possible to enjoy each other’s company in a fun and non-emotional kind of way.
Are you willing to give each other space?
On the face of it, this point may seem contrary to the earlier one but then relationships are all about balance. Just like it is important to want to spend quality time together, a long term relationship works better if the partners learn to give each other some space as well. In fact, no single partner can cater to all the requirements of an individual – a guy would need buddies to go golfing while a woman would be happier shopping with her pals. Also sometimes a person may just need some time to be on his/her own. If you both can follow individual interests and your own social lives without giving way to distrust and jealousy, it is a sign of a remarkably mature relationship, one which will is likely to last a long time.
Are you tuned to each other’s sexual needs?
Sex is an important indicator of the health of a relationship. While in the earlier stages, partners cannot seem to have enough of each other, over time the passion seems to fizzle out and then the relationship is in danger of coming apart. Even though it is not necessary for you and your partner to have exactly the same sexual preferences – it would get boring if it does – it is crucial to understand your partner’s sexual needs and be ready to take a step towards fulfilling them.
How do you resolve conflicts?
All relationships have their own share of disagreements. In fact only a relationship that is neither free nor equal would be completely devoid of arguments. The thing however is to make efforts to resolve the issue instead of sweeping things under the carpet or pretend that it is not there. In fact sometimes it is even better to thrash out issues but here a couple should know how to fight right and according to certain rules. If you and your partner understand this rather than taking recourse to personal attacks and emotional blackmails, you are more likely to be able to resolve issues through disagreements.
Do you wish to meet each other’s families?
One of the surest signs that a relationship has a future is when partners feel ready to bring their respective families into the picture. An individual would wish his/her parents or children from a previous relationship to know about a partner only if the latter meant something more than a casual date. If on the other hand an individual keeps his/her love life and family life apart, there is little chance of the relationship continuing in the long run.
Do you discuss your future?
Finally the most obvious sign that your relationship has a future is when you talk about it together. As yet you may not share exactly the same priorities – like how many kids to have - but you probably find yourselves discussing what you would like to do in the days to come and where you would like to be in context of your relationship. If both you are your partner are talking about this and even trying to merge your priorities, it is definitely an indication that you are on your way to making things work out.