A few years into the marriage sees many couples gradually drifting away from each other. If you find that your husband has nothing to say to you anymore and would rather spend a free evening at the bar than watching a movie with you at home, it is time to take action. If you let things be as they are, you may find that your husband is only one short step away from finding someone more interesting to spend time with. Here are a few tips to turn the situation around if your husband seems to be bored with you.
Do some introspection. If you find your husband unwilling to spend time with you, ask yourself what has made things come to such a pass. Is it because you have let yourself be overwhelmed domestic responsibilities? Or is it because of your hectic work schedule which does not leave you with enough time to spend with your spouse? Think of the times when you were dating or newly married and how much there was to know about each other. While it is understandable that changing family situations demand changing priorities and that your kids and job need you, remember that so does your husband. See if you can set aside some time for your partner on a regular basis. Have a night out every now and then and make it fun being around the house.
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Find mutual interests
Very often a wife is so bogged down with responsibilities at home and work, that she has no more energy left for other interests. Even the few moments of leisure she has, would rather be spent in unwinding or planning for the next working day. If you find yourself falling into a similar grind, get out of it. Try to think of all the activities you enjoyed doing together in the past. If it is no longer possible to spend every weekend hiking in the mountains, take small walks in the neighborhood park every other day. Better still, look for hobbies that you both love to pursue. If it is dance, join a salsa class for couples. Or if your husband likes his spirits, look up a wine appreciation course you can take together. Don’t expect the activities to be tailored exactly according to your interests. Be a little adventurous and you may find your husband enjoying your company while you also enjoy the new activity.
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Take care of your appearance
It is very common for women to let themselves go after a few years into a marriage. While wives no longer feel the need to look like supermodels all the time, a husband may take his wife’s neglect of her appearance as a sign that she is no longer attracted to him and thus does not feel the need to look good. So why not schedule a day at the beauty parlor and go for that long-overdue facial? Get a new haircut while you are at it and if affordable, get a makeover for your wardrobe too. Or else, choose a new personal style and pick up a few pieces of clothing to give you a fresh look. Your husband will be sure to notice the new you and things can only get better from there.
Get a toned body
No matter how much you spend on facials and clothes, there is no substitute for a good work-out. The fact that regular working out helps your heart, weight and skin make it a health aid no cosmetic can replace. Regular exercise not only helps you to get a toned and supple body but it releases chemicals in your brain known as endorphins which make you feel good about yourself. And once you start feeling nice about yourself, it is only a matter of time before your husband does too.
Expand your outlook
However all the external change can only be a starting point to get back your husband’s attention. If he is to seek out your company time and again, it is necessary that you have something else to offer. Work to expand your intellectual horizons – join a new course, learn a new language or if pressed for time attend workshops where you can learn about new things. It is not enough just to be attractive, you must be interesting as well so that he wishes to spend more time with you.
Renew the intimacy
If your husband complains of being bored by you, perhaps it is his way of telling you that he needs more intimacy in the marriage. When work and family responsibilities take up all the time in a relationship, one of the first things to be sacrificed is sex. However for men, sexual intimacy is the most obvious way of feeling connected to their partners and if you feel your marriage is lacking in this regard, you need to spice up your sex life.
Seek his reasons
Despite all your efforts to revive your husband’s interest, if you continue to find him distant as before, perhaps it is time to address him directly. Ask him what has changed in the marriage for him to hold back his affection. And if he is forthcoming with his side of the matter, see if you both can change the status-quo and bring back the spark into your relationship. But if your husband continues to avoid your queries and attempts at intimacy, there may more serious issues involved which need specialized help. He may be having a rough time at work or may be worried about ailing parents. A mid-life crisis, a job lay-off or even an affair may be reasons why your husband is no longer interested in you.
Finally, get a life of your own. You may find that in spite of your best efforts, you may be still unable to reach out to your husband. Don’t let this get you down and go on with your own life. But don’t seek out affairs just to get back at him. Be good in your work and have an active social life. A confident and outgoing woman is what everyman falls for. And once he realizes that you have more going on in your life than just him, he is sure to be much more interested in you.