Now that you have met the man of your dreams, you cannot wait to move ahead to a ‘relationship’ and then if things go really well, even get married to him. However what makes a man an ideal boyfriend and a perfect husband could be two entirely different things and after the excitement of the wedding has died down, these differences could come to you as a rude surprise. So if you are considering walking down the aisle with your partner, here are a few clues to tell you if a man is good husband material.
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He listens to you
Like really listen instead of putting on that dazed look and occasionally managing to come up with an “uh-uh…yeah...that’s right” to show that he is still alive. At the other of the spectrum are guys who jump at the chance of lecturing or criticizing their partners the moment the latter try to share something with them. Such guys forget that women talk not merely to seek advice or exchange information but to share their thoughts and feelings – it’s how they connect with their partners and this is an extremely important requirement if you are looking at something substantial as marriage.
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He is emotionally available
Perhaps what differentiates a casual fling from a meaningful relationship is that in the latter, partners are there for each other through thick and thin. Men who are not emotionally available are not much use to you when you are trying to juggle work, home and a family and need the help of a partner. In this context a person who offers practical and emotional support is much more valuable as a life partner than someone who agrees to be there only when it suits him.
He does things that show he cares
A caring, affectionate man is extremely important in a journey that is as unpredictable and long-term as marriage. Look at his actions instead of words for evidence that he cares – for instance when you are out walking in the evening and it gets chilly, does he get up to bring a blanket or jacket or seem oblivious to your shivering. Also someone who is truly husband material would watch out for you like ensuring that you arrive safely on an out-of-town trip or drop you home after a late night movie instead of just advising you to be careful.
He is financially secure
Among the top signs that a man is not marriage-worthy is when they live off others – whether family members, friends or partners. Having his own place and car are signs that a guy is a responsible adult and are not only capable of taking care of himself but also of providing for a family, which is ultimately what women have been hard-wired to look for in a potential mate since the primitive times.
He has a work-life balance
Not all successful men can make good husbands though – a guy may be rising up the corporate ladder with remarkable speed but in turn he may be less inclined to give time to his partner and family. Guys with potential for being great husbands are on the other hand driven and productive, but they value a balance between work and life; their hard work is often motivated by the drive to build a foundation for, and ultimately help to provide for, a family.
He respects you
Granted sexual chemistry is important in a fulfilling relationship, but marriage requires something deeper like mutual respect. If the guy is worthy of being a life partner, he will be ready to see you and respect you as an individual with a mind and not just a means of making out. It has been a long and hard struggle for women to be accepted as equals, both in society as well as in personal relationships and this self-respect is not something that you should be willing to give up in a hurry, especially in a relationship as binding as marriage.
He shares his plans of his future with you
Notice if a guy shares thoughts of his future with you; he may not be explicitly talking of a future that includes you, but if he likes to discuss his hopes and wishes about life, work, putting down roots and so on, chances are that he is at a point in his life where he feels ready to marry. Moreso this is a good indication that he's also dreaming about you when it comes to marriage since guys do not really discuss their future with women with whom they are not serious about.
He is comfortable around your family
If a guy is husband material, he will make himself a part of your life and that of your family too. For instance when you invite him to a family function, he will readily agree whereas a guy not interested in marriage is more likely to hesitate and ask if he must go. Marriage has been traditionally seen as the joining of two families, so a potential husband should respect that and exhibit a natural desire to spend time with the family he hopes to be a part of.
You have common interests
While sexual attraction is a powerful force in bringing two people together, keeping them that way requires something much more mundane. It is necessary that your guy shares certain interests – hobbies, similar choice in music and food or even intellectual pursuits – with you. These will ensure that in your marriage you have something to do and talk about together other than those related only to chores and kids.
He is honest
OK, maybe not as honest as to tell you what he really think of you in that red dress. Rather what this means is that a guy should refrain from lies and half-truths in your relationship. If for instance, you have caught this person more than once telling you that he is doing overtime when in fact he was out with his beer-mates, this could be a red flag. Trust is the foundation on which every relationship is built and if he is not honest with you, maybe he is not ready for something as significant as marriage.