10 tips for making that phone call to your girl


You met someone you really liked and actually hit it off. It could have been at the local pub, at a party or your friend introduced you. The sparks flew and you actually plucked up the nerve to ask for her number. And what’s more, she gave it to you. Now it’s the next day and you’re wondering when you should make that call. Or what you should say. Should you seem eager and call straight off or play it cool? You don’t want to seem too desperate, but you don’t want the moment to pass either. Read on for the top ten tips to make that first phone call and get it right.

TIP: Read 2000 questions to ask a girl and make her talk!

1. Don’t hesitate

As Nike says, "Just do it". Make that call without any further ado. There are some guys who have reported remarkable success in calling the girl the same night itself (if its not too late), while inhibitions are still down and you’re both charged with the energy of the meeting. That way it eases the stress of the morning after when you’re trying to get up the guts to call her. Or wondering if her guard is already up and the mellow mood of the previous night has been replaced by a reserve you’re going to find hard to penetrate.

The key here is not to vacillate and ponder over the ‘what if’s’. Go with the flow and call her the next day itself while the memory of the previous night is still fresh in her mind. If you wait because you don’t want to seem too anxious, you run the risk of her saying "John who?" or wondering why you wasted so much time. She won’t think less of you if you call the very next day; instead a girl normally feels thrilled that you couldn’t wait to call her again.

2. Start out well

Be prepared with what you’re going to say and how you’re going to start the call. You might want to sound a little sheepish that you couldn’t wait to call her, which will place the ball in her court to reassure you that it's perfectly ok. If she’s honest and isn’t playing any games, she might even tell you that she’s been waiting for your call. That will make it so much easier for you – a warm reception. Tell her what a great time you had. Or how you were bored stiff when you entered the party or the club and were planning to leave and how unexpected it was when you ended up having a good time because of her presence.

3. Give her time to warm up

In case she’s not immediately receptive, don’t take it as a sign of rejection and be tempted to hang up. She may be feeling foolish in the event she was flirting with you the previous night, thus giving you the impression she’s a bit of a tease. Or she may have been slightly under the influence and is now feeling embarrassed about it. If you intuitively sense this is the case, give her time to let her defenses down and warm up to you.

4. Modulate your voice

Even though you may be dead nervous, try and ensure your voice doesn’t get high-pitched or go squeaky. It's preferable if your nervousness manifests itself in twitching or fidgeting that she can’t see, rather than clearing your throat every few seconds or hemming and hawing. Smile when you’re talking, it somehow communicates itself even over the telephone. Better still, if you find the occasion to laugh, even if it's at your eagerness to call her, the warmth of it echoes down the telephone line and reaches out to grab the attention of the girl you’re trying to impress. Talk slowly and clearly so she doesn’t have to keep asking you to repeat yourself.

5. Etiquette

Ensure that in your endeavour to make the call and win her over, you’re not intruding on her privacy. Check at least once in the conversation that you’re not disturbing her, or she isn’t in the middle of something important. Or if there is somebody in the room and she isn’t able to talk freely, asking her will provide her with the opportunity to take the call elsewhere. She will appreciate the opening you’re giving her to buy more time if she needs it, displaying good manners in the process.

6. Tell her what she wants to hear

Make her feel good by telling her that she sounds even sweeter over the phone, something you didn’t think was possible. Or that you're having trouble getting your meeting with her out of your mind. Joke about it and ask her if she will stop haunting your dreams. Make her feel desirable without becoming too intense. Inject humor into your compliments so she doesn’t feel too pressured to respond in kind.

7. Give her a chance

You’re probably making the supreme effort to keep the conversation flowing and trying to ensure there are no awkward silences. In the process, don’t get carried away and bore her with a monologue. Draw her into the conversation by referring to something you might have spoken about the previous evening that you thought you’d get her to clarify or expound further on today. For instance, if she told you she’s chosen a particular subject to major in, or is in a certain profession, you could say you’re curious about what made her choose it. Use this moment as a chance to find out more about her, which perhaps the blasting music the previous night didn’t lend itself to.

8. Keep her guessing

She’s probably wondering when you’re going to get around to asking her for a date. Don’t do what’s expected. Don’t ask her out immediately. Drag it out and avoid the topic altogether, at least initially. Talk about general stuff - somebody you saw at the party last night and their awful fashion sense, after making sure they’re not connected to her in any way.

9. Use your instincts

If you sense she’s one of those women who are not likely to commit to a date after such short acquaintance, ask her if it’s ok to call her again. This does two things for you. She will love being asked permission to call her again, as against just being bombarded with calls. And secondly, she will be surprised that you didn’t aggressively try and get her to agree to a date. She might even experience a sense of anti-climax and will look forward to your next call, and when you do get around to asking for a date, she will probably be more than willing to commit to one.

10. Asking her out

If the conversation has been flowing, draw it to a close while it is still going well. If you sense that she is more than willing to go out with you, ask her out when she least expects it. Find a way to ask her that she can’t say no to, or will find it difficult to refuse. For instance if she just happens to tell you she bought a new dress, tell her you’d like to give her a chance to use it. Or ask her what she thinks of a club that’s just opened but is far away enough that it's unlikely she would have been there. When she says as much, ask her if she’d like to check it out with you. You have to be ready with where you’d like to take her and the ambience you favour for a first date. Have your lines ready if she says no. Be a gentleman and handle the rejection well. And ask if you can call her again, if she’s genuinely apologetic about not agreeing to the date this time.