What do you do when you want a relationship with one certain guy, but that one guy just so happens to be your ex boyfriend, and you did the dumping? This is an interesting dilemma and not all too uncommon. Many times relationships end in a blaze of emotions because of an event or series of events, rather than because of the relationship as a whole. The situation can be delicate, but there are certainly ways to better your chances of re-attaining that guy that you should never have let go.
Get back with your ex with this step-by-step guide.
First you'll need to get a one on one conversation going with your ex. If you share common friends then plan something out (maybe with the help of mutual acquaintances more loyal to you than him) where you'll be gathering with your friends and your ex at a party or bar or some other casual setting. Once there, pull him aside and tell him you'd like to talk. This kind of corners him into talking with you, which might be what you want, as a more direct approach (such as asking him to dinner) may get rejected. Alternatively, you can call him or text him, telling him that you'd like to meet up somewhere and talk. Generally speaking, either method should work, but if your ex isn't returning your calls then obviously the public setting where he just so happens to be in the same place as you are will be more likely to successfully grant you the conversation.
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Perhaps the most important aspect when dealing with a situation like this is why exactly you dumped your man in the first place. Depending on the reason, there may be different avenues to take in regards to getting him back. If you broke it off because you felt as though the two of you were moving in different directions, then all it may take is a simple talk saying that you feel you were wrong. Tell him that you took many of the things he did for you for granted and that living without him pales horribly in comparison to being with him. Another idea would be to tell him that you were subconsciously testing him to see if he would fight for you, because you weren't sure how strong his feelings were. Obviously you'll have to express remorse and admit how wrong you were for doing this, but if you come off sincerely this may have the effect of lifting some of the pain and feelings of inadequacy off his back, as he'll now see that it was your own insecurity, and not his shortcomings as a boyfriend, that caused you to put an end to the relationship. He may even be flattered by the notion, but again with this line of excuses you'll need to be very willing to assure him that it will never happen again because he means the world to you.
If you broke up with him because you'd found someone else, the task might not be so simple. Plan out an intricate and detailed apology. Chances are you severely hurt your ex boyfriend's feelings when you dumped him for another guy, so you'll need to show the utmost respect for his feelings now. Let him know that hurting him has been hard to bear for you as well, because you still love him. Build him back up by telling him all the ways in which he's better than the guy you'd left him for. Tell him how much more fun and interesting and intelligent he is. Let him know that you found yourself wishing you were with him rather than the other guy constantly. Tell him he's a better lover and tell him specifically why. Whether he actually is or not is irrelevant (if he's not, and this were all important to you then you wouldn't want him back); this sort of compliment is always a welcome ego boost. Every man likes to hear how great he is in bed.
Another factor to consider in re-acquiring the guy you dumped is how long it's been since the break up and whether or not he's moved into a new relationship. If it's only been a short time since you ended it then it may be in your best interest to let a small amount of time pass so that he's not harboring such resentment towards you when you do talk. Blowing him up with phone calls a week after you break up with him may lead him to believe that you're a bipolar psycho. Let a few weeks pass.
If it's been a while and he's dating someone new, you need to be prepared to pit yourself against his new interest and explain fully why you are the better option, since clearly you were not the better option the first time around, as it ended abruptly at your hand, and his new relationship is currently alive and well. Chances are if you dumped him and he's now with someone else, he's made the conscious decision to move on. You'll have to reverse his thinking on this front, which is not always an easy sell. Think of things specifically intimate to you and him; things that couldn't have the same meaning in his new relationship. Flirt with him as you did when you were first dating. Try to bring back those shared memories that you know he won't be able to think of in any way but fondly. Music is a nice tool for bringing back nostalgic feelings; see if you can find a way to play a song that both you and your ex enjoyed at the height of your relationship.
There is always the chance that your breaking up with your ex may have dealt too much of a blow to be repaired. This is just one of those things and you should never discount your own ability to overcome your mistakes and move on to a better place. That said; odds are that if you broke up with your boyfriend you're in a relatively good position to try to get him back. The brass ring rule works in your favor; people always want what they can't have. Just don't abuse it; if you get back with your ex boyfriend and dump him again you may seal the fate of relationship.