Relationships are truly hard to understand sometimes. They nearly always start off beautifully and end up with you wondering how they ever worked in the first place. With short term things that just crumble soon after they start, you move on and find the next one. But when real love develops, the moving on can be pretty difficult, even when it seems like the future of the relationship was hopeless. Sometimes relationships just need a fresh start; if you still have feelings for your ex and are wondering whether your ex may still love you as well, here are ten signs to look for.
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Text messages and phone calls
The easiest thing to look for when trying to determine if your ex still loves you is the frequency of communication. People who are still in love have a tendency to cling on to their ex partners, and sometimes this shows itself in the form of trying to maintain a friendship. This isn't to say that if your ex tries to remain friendly with you that he or she definitely still has feelings for you, but if you're getting text messages like “good night” or phone calls just to see how you're doing regularly then this could indicate that your ex is thinking about you often. These sorts of communications aren't really necessary to maintain platonic friendships.
Your ex is still single
If your ex is seeming to take a long time to get into a new relationship, then this could also be a sign that some feelings are still present. Generally speaking, when people have moved on from relationships entirely they seek out new relationships, but in the event that love is still lingering then they may opt to take time to themselves instead or to have only casual flings. There are those who launch themselves immediately into rebound relationships even if they're still in love, but an unwillingness to recommit to someone new is certainly something to watch out for.
If you still share an intimate relationship
This one's kind of obvious, but if you and your ex are still maintaining an intimate relationship even after you've dumped the “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” labels then there are probably still some feelings involved. Everybody likes sex, but people who have really moved on from a relationship are probably more likely to fulfill their needs elsewhere. If your ex keeps coming back to you after the break up then chances are that the break up needs to be reevaluated.
If your ex is trying to hurt you..
It's a bit ironic, but if your ex is saying things with the intention of hurting you then he or she almost certainly still has some feelings for you. Arguing is pretty much the number one cause of relationships breaking down, so arguing once a relationship has reached its end just doesn't make any sense; you end a relationship to end the arguing. Naturally, if your ex is being unnecessarily mean to you then you should consider cutting them off and letting the relationship die anyway, but it still probably means that there are feelings present on both sides. Most people opt against exerting energy to be aggressive towards someone if they're not passionate about the situation.
Your ex still visits the same hangouts
If your ex just so happens to be frequenting the places that you like to hang out, and keeps “randomly” bumping into you, then this could also be a sign of lingering feelings. This can sometimes be a bit hard to determine if you and your ex shared a circle of friends to begin with, but just look for behaviors that may indicate that your ex is trying to see you without actually having to actually ask you out.
If your ex is trying to attract you
Take notice of changes your ex seems to be making after your relationship ends. For example; if your ex suddenly has a better job when money was an issue in your relationship this could be a sign that he or she is trying to impress you and show you that the relationship could work better at this point. People may also make some changes to their appearance in order to catch the eyes of their ex. If you hated your ex boyfriend's beard and now that you're broken up he finally decides to shave it, he may be trying to send a message.
Mutual friends say so
Talk to mutual friends. If your ex's friends seem to think that your ex may still be interested in a relationship, then this may well be the case, unless the friend has ulterior motives or has just horribly misinterpreted. Gossip doesn't stop after high school, so get into the thick of it and see what other people have to say; you might hear exactly what you want to hear.
Social networking websites point towards this
Social networking is one of the primary tools people use these days to make others jealous. If you find that your ex suddenly has some new attractive friends on Facebook or Myspace then there may be a reason for this beyond simple extroversion. This is particularly true if you notice flirty wall comments floating back and forth between your ex and some new individual. If your ex seems to be out to make you jealous then it's quite likely that strong feelings are still in the picture.
Your ex is there for you..
If you're going through a rough point in your life and your ex is there for you to give you comfort, then love may still exist. There's a difference between caring and being in love, but the two do go hand in hand to some degree. Your ex being there for you doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship has hope of being rekindled, but it is a good sign.
If your ex is trying to see you often
Lastly, if your ex is still asking you to hang out or still making blatant efforts to see you regularly then there could be hope for your relationship to start anew. When true love was involved in a recently defunct relationship, people usually stop with the “dating” as a means of getting past their feelings. When your ex is still treating you in the same way that you were treated when the relationship was at full force, then it's likely that the feelings haven't changed that much.
When seeking out signs that your ex may still be in love with you, it's important that you don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of or strung along. There are those out there who can't let go of the past but still want nothing to do with it. Use your best judgment, and look for the things out of your ex that you noticed when you were first dating. Always recognize that the relationship may not have the capability to begin anew, but there are some situations where it certainly does.