There are innumerable reasons which attract a man and woman to each other. This fact may dawn on you one day as you realize that the man you married and then broke up with is still in your thoughts and that you want him back after all. This is trickier than getting back with an ex-boyfriend and thus you must tread cautiously. Here are a few tips which will help you attract your ex-husband’s attention and make him fall in love with you all over again.
Get back with your ex with this step-by-step guide.
Come to grips with the situation
The first step to getting back with your ex-husband is to come to grips with the situation. Accept that there has been a break-up, which may be a separation of a divorce and no matter whose fault it was. If you keep struggling against reality and refuse to accept it, you are losing out even before you have begun.
Control your emotions
The break-up of a marriage is an exceedingly traumatic experience, more so if it has been forced on you. But crying or making a scene before your ex-husband will simply not help. In fact if you throw tantrums or emotionally blackmail him on account of children, he may move further away from you. So even if the break up has not been caused by you, take it calmly and with an air of self-assurance. He will be impressed by your emotional maturity and very likely remember this in future. On the other hand, if the break-up has been your fault, apologize quickly and let him have his say. This is not the time to launch into lengthy explanations or hotly defend your actions.
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Take a time-out
In order to make your ex-husband come back to you, you need to pull away for a while. If the break-up is fairly recent, say a week, make it a point not to have any contact with him for a month or so. If you keep calling him up, you will only make yourself come across as desperate and needy and nothing turns off a man as quickly as a woman who is clingy and emotionally weak. On the other hand, if you can successfully stay away for some time, he will not only be secretly impressed by your sense of independence and self-confidence but is likelier to miss you. Even if your ex calls you up or asks to meet you, play hard-to-get for a while until you are certain he really means to get back with you.
Reflect on the past
Use the time away from your ex-husband to consider what led to the breakup of your marriage. Was it because of personality differences or because one of you had been unfaithful to the other. If the split was caused by clashing priorities, maybe you can reconsider your life goals. Say for instance, you were too busy looking after kids and working at a job, to give the required attention to your husband. Now if you want to get your ex back, agree to simplify your life so that your partner feels needed and loved. Again if the breach had been caused by your ex-husband’s infidelity, consider if you are ready to trust him and give him another chance.
Consider the present
This may also be a good time to ask why you want your ex-husband to come back to you. Is it because you are afraid of spending a life alone or do you miss out on the material comforts that marriage catered for you? Admittedly making a new life all alone is difficult, more so if you have kids from the marriage. But at the same time getting back together for the wrong reasons is unlikely to guarantee the success of your renewed relationship. However if you believe that this is the man for you and you love him, for good or bad, then go ahead and do what you can to make him fall for you again.
As women settle down into a marriage, most of them become less careful about their appearance. They feel now that they have married the man they loved, they need not work at looking like a supermodel all the time. Men however are visual creatures and are attracted to what looks beautiful. So if you had let yourself go during your marriage, spruce yourself up a little bit. Get a makeover if you can afford it. Even getting a new hairstyle or an updated wardrobe may work wonders. Exercise regularly and it will not only help you to get a new well-toned look but also be good for your health in the long run. Along with working on your appearance, enhance your personality too. Join up for a new course if you have the time or at least get involved in an interesting hobby. Learning newer things will raise your confidence and help you widen your intellectual horizons. So when you do meet your ex-husband, you can be sure that he will be knocked out by the newer, smarter and more attractive you.
Send out feelers
After some time spent apart, let drop small hints to your ex-husband that you have been thinking of him. While you want him to know that you have got your life back, at the same time you don’t want him to believe that you have moved on romantically. This may lead him on to explore options with other women. So find small ways to let your ex know he still figures in your thoughts. For instance send him a short mail saying how you reread a book that used to his favorite and then thought of him. However make sure to keep these correspondences light and casual and don’t go into detailed flashbacks or he might get wary at the thought of coming back together.
Take advantage of your shared past
You already have the advantage of sharing a life together and so use it to the hilt to attracting your ex-husband. Be the person he fell for in the first place. For instance if he was attracted to your bright outgoing personality, be cheerful and positive when he is around. Have a full-fledged social life and he will want to be again with the fun-loving, popular person he had married. Also ask about common acquaintances or casually reminisce about happy times spent together. These will make him aware that you had a lovely thing going in the past and maybe he will be attracted to renew the relationship.
Take it slow
It is likely that renewing contact will lead to a meeting or two. This is the time to tread very carefully as one wrong step might lead your ex-husband to wonder if all of this is a good idea. After attaining a level of comfort in conversations, suggest a meeting with common friends or in a group. While talking, refrain from bringing up the past and stick to casual topics. If your ex does seem willing to talk about your marriage, say you’re sorry that things did not work out instead of blaming him for the break-up. If and when he is willing to follow your lead, discuss if things can be worked out between you two and how.
Getting your ex-husband to fall in love with you again is a very delicate matter and will require seemingly inhuman levels of tact and patience. At the same time it is not something impossible since couples separate and then get back together every other day. The important thing is to be clear as to why you want him back and if you are certain he is the person for you, go ahead with faith and love.