Should you date your friend’s ex-girlfriend?


Pam is not just an attractive girl, she has the brains to match her looks. A perfect combination of beauty and brains. This was just the kind of girl Jim was looking for. Pam seemed to be the answer to his dreams. Here she was, his dream girl, standing right in front of him. Disbelief and happiness written all over his face, he wondered if this was too good to be true.

Like every cloud has a silver lining, every girl has a past, an ex-boyfriend to be precise. But Jim was not the type to get intimidated about her past life or her ex, not until he discovered that this ‘perfect’ girl was his friend’s ex-girlfriend. Should I date my friend’s ex-girlfriend, is the dilemma in Jim’s mind. There are certain issues to be considered before you think of dating your friend’s ex-girlfriend.

If your association with your friend goes back to your school days and you share a mutual trust, then you should look for another girl.

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If your friend is a ‘no-hassle’ kind of guy and may not nurture any ill feelings whatsoever to the idea of you dating his ex-girlfriend, then go ahead and make the first move.

Find out why the relationship between your friend and his ex end. Did he leave her or vice-versa? Was she cheating on him? If the relationship had ended on a bitter note, then it may not be fair to hurt your friend’s sentiments by dating his ex.

If your friend had left his ex for another girl, then there is no scope for feeling guilty or carrying any kind of emotional baggage for dating your his ex.

There are a few guys who are overtly possessive about their girls and sometimes even about their ex. Does your friend fall under this category? Or is he the kind who wouldn't really care if you went after his ex? If he belong to the latter type, then there is no problem in dating his ex. If he belongs to the former category, it may be still okay to date his ex, because after a relationship has ended, your friend has no right to choose or object to the guys his ex dates.

If you share a very close camaraderie with your friend and have made a pact that either of you, at any point of time, should date each other’s ex-girlfriend, then it may become difficult for you to go against your promise. It may be like breaking a strict code of honor. Such rules can sometimes be very effective in setting things straight.

If you really like your friend’s ex-girlfriend, be honest in letting your friend know about your intense feeling towards his ex. At the same time, be prepared for an extreme reaction from him. He may either react with rage or may just give the go-ahead signal!

Women are not a commodity. If you like a girl for her sense of values, honesty and trustworthiness, then make up your mind and date her. Your friend should have no objection on your dating his ex, if you are clear about your intentions of dating her and maybe pursuing a long-term relationship with her, which your friend could not achieve.