In a society and age where monogamy is still considered the norm, it is remarkable how many single women enjoy and seek out the company of married men. What makes such women like a man when she knows that he is already married or at least attached? Perhaps it has to do with a simple fact of human nature that makes the grass on the other side of the fence always appear greener. Here are a few other insights on what makes married men appealing to young and single women.
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The attraction of a no-strings relationship
Single women who date married men often do so because they know the affair does not come with any expectations of a long-term commitment. This frees up the woman to have a good time with her partner without having to look ahead or succumb to the pressures of a long-term relationship. She may find that she is having a swell time with her job, partner and friends and may not feel the need to get married or have kids. If her partner is a single man, he may feel otherwise and wish to cement their relationship into something more permanent. A married man on the other is already committed to another woman and is certain to have no such expectations from his single lady friend.
A study conducted by the University of Louisville found that single women often indulged in a phenomenon known as “mate copying”. According to this, a single woman may be attracted to a married man since she feels that if another smart and good-looking woman has already chosen this man, then he must be special in some way or other.
The thrill of the forbidden
Very often the attraction that a single woman may feel for her married lover may have to do with the excitement of doing something immoral. If the woman is a rule-breaker at heart, she may set out to tempt a married man into a relationship simply because it is more fun doing what you are not supposed to do.
The excitement of something unusual
Contemporary society is hugely permissive when it comes to sexual relationships between partners who are not yet married. But the relationship between a single woman and a married man is still to get open social sanction. This perhaps makes the relationship that much more appealing for a single woman. She may find the whole routine of being secretive, going for clandestine meetings and quick sexual episodes a huge turn-on as compare to the much tamer dates with a single man.
The sense of competition
Women with a strong competitive streak in their personality may also be attracted to married men. Such a woman may be willing to take a married man as a lover if only to prove that she is superior to the wife when it comes having the goods that attract men. She may hear her lover praise his wife and then be goaded to better her in the same or in another aspect. The phenomenon may have little or nothing to do with the desirability of the man in question but just the fact that he has transgressed on his marriage to be with her may be a huge ego trip for such a woman.
The lure of experience
Many single women who regularly date older, married men believe that being in a long-term relationship makes a difference in the attitude of men to their female companions. Such men are apparently more considerate about their lover’s wishes and treat her like a lady. Being married also guarantees greater sexual experience and more patience when it comes to dealing with other women. Young unmarried men are often too sure of their desirability and often behave like cads which may put off single women looking to be treated well by their dates.
Playing out of a fantasy
Very often the fantasy element holds the key to attraction between a single woman and a married man. The woman is drunk with the fantasy of her power which has compelled an attached man to cheat on his wife while the man can live out his sexual fantasies which his wife would never agree to. This is the mutual living out of a fantasy life which however begins to fall apart once the pulls and pressures of a normal relationship creep in. if the two begin to live together, they are likely to find their fantasy fizzling out with jealousies and insecurities ruining what they once shared.
Nobody to answer to
Single women who date attached men like the breathing space they get in the relationship. There is no one to answer to if you decide to catch a movie with a male friend or if you wish to go over old times with a former lover. The male partner who is already cheating on his wife is hardly in a position to get jealous or possessive with his lover and knows that the moment he does so, she would probably walk out on him.
Qualities that the man may possess
When a single woman chooses to date a married man, she generally prefers someone who is rich and successful. Such dates ensure that she is entertained in style and perhaps even indulged with expensive gifts from time to time. Besides the attraction of a rich lover, older married men also possess great deal of confidence and self-assurance that come with experience. This can be extremely attractive to single women who have been with young single men in the past and been put off by their brash, insecure and callow behavior.
There are thus several reasons why single women may prefer married men when it comes to dating and companionship. It may have to do with fulfilling a need in the woman’s own personality or it may be because of certain qualities that her married lover seems to possess. However before getting into such a relationship, a woman needs to be clear about the expectations and obligations it entails since like every other relationship the one between a single woman and her married lover too has its own perks and pitfalls.