Who is My Soul Mate? - How to Find Your Soul Mate


There is so much talk of soul mates and finding that one person who is right for you in every way. Who does not want to love and be loved by that one special person? When most people think of a soul mate, they think of it as a person with whom they are compatible on a spiritual level as well as a sexual level. A soul mate is a person who fits you like a glove. 

What is a Soul Mate?

According to the dictionary (Dictionary.com) a soul mate is defined as, “One of two persons compatible with the other in disposition, point of view or sensitivity.” A soul mate is a person that you share a natural and deep affinity for, as well as love and intimacy. While you may share lots of values, interests and commonalities with many people, a soul mate is someone you forge a much deeper and more spiritual bond with. On a metaphysical level, a soul mate is a person that you encountered in a past life and reconnected with after being reincarnated here on earth. 

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Soul Mate Relationship Traits

Researchers have discovered some very basic traits that help to define a soul mate relationship. These are:

Most soul mate relationships have a karmic quality to them.

Most are predestined, which is to say, they are decided upon by your soul before birth and are not related to your personality.

Everyone has a soul mate (or a number of soul mates). Some people will not recognize a relationship as such because of conflicting personalities or unresolved problems from the past.

Contrary to popular belief, not all relationships between soul mates will be peaceful and harmonious all the time.

Not all relationships of this kind are meant to last a long time.

Romantic View of a Soul Mate

The concept of a soul mate has been around for a long time and dates back centuries. The romantic view of a soul mate is that there is only one person in the world who is right for you and that once that person is found, he or she can bring about a sense of wholeness or completeness to your world, as in the saying, “My other half.” The concept of the other half was first described by the Greek philosopher, Plato. 

Finding someone you have a deep and natural affinity for, means finding an individual who is very well suited to your temperament. One belief is that we are predestined to be with a certain person because of the role of destiny or fate. Many people believe that the connection between soul mates continues after one of the two has died. 

The romantic view of a soul mate is that, upon meeting this person, you might feel as though you have known them your whole life and you feel a sense of connectedness and ease in their presence. The feeling is similar to how you feel when you come home from a trip - you feel happy and comfortable and so glad to be home at last. The general belief is that soul mates can love and accept every aspect of the other person’s personality and habits and that a life together will not be fraught with conflicts or problems. 

Realistic View of a Soul Mate

If you are willing to broaden your definition of what a soul mate is, you will see that it is possible to have many people in your life who are soul mates. Different individuals have a profound impact on us at different stages in our lives and what we need from others is not the same in every phase. 

A soul mate is a person who makes a difference in your life. This person may not be in your life for very long but somehow, they did something that affected the course of your life in an inexplicable way. Soul mates help to shape one’s developing spirit and the direction we take in our lives. We come in contact with many people throughout our journey through life, so it is possible that we can share a strong spiritual bond with many, as opposed to just one. 

Brooke’s Story

Brooke had grown tired of meeting men in bars and she felt too old for blind dates. So at the suggestion of a friend, she signed up for two online dating sites. At first she was nervous thinking she might get some weird responses. At one site she corresponded with a few men but did not have too much luck. At the second site, she chatted with two men she liked. She was cautious as she got to know them both. 

She arranged two separate coffee dates with each man in the same week. She was to meet Chad on a Tuesday evening and Tim on Thursday. Chad turned out to be nothing like she had expected. He was arrogant, and impolite and had misrepresented himself. Brooke went home terribly disappointed. She was so disappointed in fact, that she seriously considered calling off her date with Tim. Thankfully Brooke did not do that and Tim turned out to be, in her words, “The man of her dreams”. The two soul mates have now been happily married for the past three years and often laugh about their interesting online beginning. 

Keep Your Options Wide Open

In order to find your soul mate, you have to be open to opportunities to meet new people. When you do meet new people, you have to be willing to give them a chance to get to know you and vice versa. Do not rush forward too quickly, but make an effort to establish emotional intimacy and trust before rushing into physical intimacy. 

Do not search for a person who is a perfect match for you because that is an impossible standard to live up to. You are not perfect, so you cannot expect someone else to be perfect for you either. Doing this will leave you terribly hurt, disappointed and disillusioned. Look instead for a person who is a good fit for you. Once you find a person like that, work to strengthen the relationship and do everything you can to encourage its growth, stability and longevity.

Your soul mate is out there, you just need to keep your options open and remember that he or she might not be exactly what you are expecting. It does not hurt to develop your soul to the best of your ability while you are searching for a person to share your life with. If you are the best “you” possible, then you will attract the best possible mate you can, or if you like, your other half.