When you’re dating someone, it counts for a lot what he/she is like as a person and how compatible you are together. But the proof of the pudding also lies in the tasting – and as far as a relationship goes, that qualifies as the physical and intimate side. Kissing is often the first step in physical intimacy. And when a couple is in love – and in lust – it’s not long before that hesitant first kiss and tentative meeting of lips progresses to a full-blown French kiss.
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French kissing, like any art, takes a fair amount of practice and experience to become a master (or mistress) of the game. But before venturing further on learning the hows of French kissing, a few basics:
Hygiene is important
While not everyone can be lucky enough to have the pearly whites which are often shown in toothpaste commercials, you can at least make use of the products advertised! Before brushing up on your kissing techniques, you’d do well to brush your teeth and make sure your breath is fresh. Eating things with strong odor like onions or garlic, is strictly off limits. Always keep mints or a stick of chewing gum on hand for some last minute damage control.
Observe basic hygiene, like having a shower, if possible, immediately prior to your date, so that you are clean and fresh. Spraying a really good deodorant or using an aftershave might help but there’s no substitute for a good bath. The fresher you look, the more irresistible you will seem to your date.
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Groom yourself well
You don’t have to spend a whole lot of money on fancy clothes but try and dress in something that adds to, rather than detracts from, your overall appeal. The more attractive you appear (you don’t have to be blessed with natural good looks, you have to simply know how to make the most of what you have been blessed with), the more inclined your date will be, to get up close and personal!
For the ladies
Don’t overdo it as far as lipstick goes. Use a shade that flatters your lips and makes them look infinitely kissable. Lip-gloss also adds a nice flavor as long as it’s not too sticky. If you wear too much lipstick or too dark a shade, it will end up all over your partner’s face and unless he doesn’t mind looking like Bobo the Clown, that’s not a good option.
Set the mood
Unless you and your partner are both into public displays of affection or exhibitionism, kisses – especially first ones, should ideally be in private. If there is some mood music it will probably enhance the feelings and emotions.
Comfort is the key
Make sure there is a comfortable place or seating arrangement to lounge around and relax.
Don’t be tense or overly anxious about how the kiss will go or the kind of impression you will make. If it helps, your partner is probably also equally nervous, so at least one of you being calm would really help.
Leading up to it
Before actually getting into French kissing techniques, it is important to set the stage. Gradually ease your partner into the mood. Exchange loving looks, caress him with your eyes, cast lingering looks at his lips and move into a more intimate position. Touch your partner’s hair, graze his cheek with your fingers, caress the nape of his neck or rub his earlobe between your fingertips.
As you start moving closer, watch out for the following…
If you’re sitting next to each other on a couch or settee, turn towards each other. Urge your partner closer with gentle pressure but don’t be forceful or insistent. If she shows the slightest sign of resistance, back off. Learn to differentiate though, if she’s toying with you or teasing you by refusing to come closer or is outright refusing.
Get your cue from the word – French kiss.
The French are subtle lovers and take things at a leisurely pace. It should be unhurried, not rushed and while passions might be difficult to rein in, try and enjoy the kiss and savor the moment, instead of figuring out your next move.
Try and angle yourself so that if your partner's face is tilted in one direction, tilt your's in the complementary opposite direction.
In your eagerness to kiss her, don’t get right into the act. You could lovingly cradle her face in your hands and look deeply into her eyes as a prelude to your French kiss.
As you move in for the kill, oops kiss, you could close your eyes. It creates a sense of you really immersing yourself into the kiss and savoring the unique pleasure it brings to your senses. It can also be slightly unnerving if one partner accidentally opens his eyes to find the other staring at him and trying to read his expression. If both keep their eyes closed, it enables more uninhibited enjoyment of the kiss.
French kissing techniques
In effecting the French kiss, there are two main weapons at your disposal, namely:
As you move closer together and your lips meet, enjoy the sensation of paying ‘lip service’ – literally! You could place tiny kisses starting from the corner of her mouth, until your lips are flush against her's. You could pull back ever so slightly to comment on how great her lips feel against your's or continue to just savor the delight of how pliant and warm her mouth feels.
Now try deepening the kiss. Open your mouth slightly and tease her lips apart with your lips. If she shows signs of withdrawing, go back to closed mouth kissing. But if she gives every appearance of enjoying it, keep flirting with her lips, moving them in a slow, circular rhythm over her's. Catch her lower lip teasingly between your lips or lightly, very lightly, give it a mock nip by lightly holding it with your teeth.
But of course, the main part of French kissing is yet to make its presence felt.
Learning how to French kiss isn’t complete until you make optimum use of your tongues. You can tentatively start by tracing the outline of his lips with your tongue or gently inserting your tongue in her mouth. If she doesn’t meet you halfway, try coaxing her tongue to come play with your's. Once you succeed in doing this, entwine her tongue with your's.
You can alternatively lick it gently, explore the inside of her mouth or very, very gently suck on it. Be careful and avoid biting his/her lips or tongue. If your partner still shows every sign of enjoying the kiss and craving more, start alternating lips with tongue and start flicking tongues against each other lightly but frequently and going back to the lips, then back again to tongues, which acts as a simulation of the sexual act itself.