A kiss can either make or break a potential relationship. While this may seem a slightly exaggerated stance, no one can deny that a kiss usually is a fair indicator of what two people feel about each other as well as where their relationship is headed. So before you plan to get up, closer and personal with your beloved, go through some basic tips on how to be a good kisser.
Get the basics right
Before you start puckering up for practice it would be a good idea to run through the different kinds of kisses and what they mean.
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The cheek kiss
This is the friendliest type of kiss which involves giving a light peck on the other person’s cheeks. While this is the usual way to greet a close friend or family member, if you want to kiss your partner on the very first date, you may settle for this one.
The butterfly kiss
In this you bring your face very close to your partner’s and then rapidly flutter your eyelashes. Or just about brush your lips against your partner’s without actually pressing them onto his/her’s. This kind of kiss is a delightful way to start off an evening of intimacy and if you particularly want to come off as a sensitive and caring guy to women, the butterfly kiss is the way to go.
The lip kiss
As the name suggests, this involves gently pressing your lips against your partner’s. The best part about this kiss is that it lends itself to all sorts of variations like the Lick kiss, where you gently run your tongue over your partner’s lips just before kissing, Lip Sucking Kiss where you suck on the lower lip of the partner while kissing or the Nip Kiss where you slightly nibble on your partner’s lips, without of course biting him/her. You can also use the lip kiss on other areas of your partner’s body like the ear-lobes, the neck, and the shoulder as well as on the tip of each finger.
The French kiss
Also known as the Soul Kiss, this the most sensuous of all them all and involves exploring your partner’s mouth with your tongue. Because of the level of intimacy which this kiss implies, it is better to wait till you and your partner are comfortable with each other. A partner willing to try out the French kiss with you on the other hand means that he/she is ready to take the relationship to the next level.
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Take care of your appearance
Kissing is one of the nicest ways to get intimate with your partner and so make sure that you make this a pleasant experience for him/her. This essentially means turning up clean and well-groomed, particularly if you are a guy with facial hair. Women should also take care to avoid too much makeup on their lips or it might put off their partners.
Kissing is all about using your lips
So make sure your lips are soft and supple if you don’t want your partner to feel that he/she is brushing against sandpaper. Make lip balm a part of your daily skincare but don’t use it just before puckering up for your partner since for some, the grease or the smell could be a major turn-off.
Check your breath
Nothing kills a kissing session as quickly as bad breath. So if you have just had a smoke or lunch with a generous helping of garlic and onions, wait for a while before getting intimate or freshen your breath with a gargle. Always keep mints handy for the moments like these.
Go with the scene
The secret to being a good kisser is to use a technique best suited to the occasion. If you are alone with your partner in the lift, make use of the short time by planting a couple of quick ones on her lips. On the other hand if you wish to steal a few private moments with your partner at a friend’s party, use the nip or lick kiss to leave a lasting impression. A more leisurely romantic evening calls for greater finesse and variety like starting off with butterfly kisses and proceeding to the French one.
Take it slow
But whatever technique you settle on, make sure that your partner, particularly if it is a woman, is relaxed and comfortable around you. If she has something on her mind or if she is not yet comfortable in an intimate setting, it is unlikely to be an enjoyable experience for either of you. And even when you know she is looking forward to getting intimate, go easy. Coming down too heavily on her or rushing through things might just scare her away.
The art of expert kissing implies varying between techniques so that your partner enjoys your unpredictability even as he/she feels emotionally connected to you. You could make the session exciting by alternating between hot and cold kisses where the former involves licking a partner’s lips to make them warm and then gently blowing on them to bring about a cooling sensation. Also explore other areas of your partner’s body with your lips like the inside of a wrist, the nape down the neck or the tips of the toes. Many of these are highly erogenous zones and caressing them with kisses may leave your partner breathless with desire.
Make use of props
Make use of props like an ice cube or a juicy fruit. The freeze or melt kiss involves passing an ice cube from your mouth to your partner’s with the help of your tongue. The fruity kiss is again a variation of this where you put a juicy fruit between your lips. While kissing, you nibble a part of the fruit and your partner nibbles the other.
Finally watch out for your partner’s response
Even though you may be enjoying the kiss so much as to get lost in it, don’t neglect non-verbal cues from your partner. If he slides his arms around your waist or if she pulls you closer and arches her back, it is likely that they are enjoying this as much as you are. However if you feel a sudden stiffening of your partner’s body or feel his/her lips close down in a tight line, you may need to take a time out and consider what is going on.
Nothing beats kissing as far as expression of love and affection is concerned. The fact is best embodied in one of the most quoted lines by famous English poet Ben Jonson, “Or leave a kiss but in the cup. And I’ll not look for wine”.