Just like the significance of sexual acts and practices change over time, so too meanings of words associated with sex. One such word is prude which originally comes from old French for honorable woman and is actually the root even of the word prudence, meaning sound judgment in practical affairs. However in contemporary context, a prude refers to someone who is excessively concerned about whether his/her behavior is proper according to what a particular group of people thinks is “normal” or appropriate according to some standard of modesty. In popular usage, the term is often used as a label to judge someone as sexually conservative and “no fun” – so if you think your woman is a prude, here are some signs to watch out for.
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- She doesn’t allow you near her
First date tips usually advise couples not to kiss or get intimate. Indeed most singles look on early dates as a way of getting to know their partners before deciding whether they should take it further. However a woman who is a prude would continue this touch-me-not behavior still longer. She will not only be horrified at the suggestion of kissing on the first few dates, but might continue avoiding physical contact even if you have been seeing each other for a few weeks now.
- She refuses to attend a party where drink are on
One of the traits of a prude is that she will not avoid any engagement with sex but is likely to look upon practices like drinking alcohol or taking weed with equal horror. While there is no doubt that alcohol and drugs can be abused, an excessive revulsion of these substances is typical of the prudish mentality which cannot accept the notion of individual choice and values. A prude would hold everyone around her subject to her notions of what is right and wrong and fail to understand the concept of personal preference.
- She talks down others
Along with holding everyone to her own standards, a prude is someone who also likes to lecture. So if someone in at a party, offers her weed, a prude will not stop at a cheerful revelation that she left behind such habits in college or even a simple no – but she must launch into a long explanation of why weed is bad and vow to never talk to that person again.
- She is overly conscientious
One of the traits of a prude is that they are excessively conscious about what they should and should not do. Thus it may be that you are going away early Saturday morning through Sunday night for a camping trip and you know you won’t have time to prepare for an office presentation due on Monday morning except on Friday; but there’s a party down in the neighbourhood pub and all your friends are going to be there this Friday night. While you may weighing whether to go to the party and find time for the presentation later or return earlier on Sunday, a prude would be horrified that you need to consider options at all. For her there is no other way but to get down to business and prepare for the presentation - party or not. In fact she would not only expect you to work on the presentation but even be genuinely puzzled but why you would want to go away for the weekend at all, when you need to be rested for the meeting on Monday.
- She is never out late
In her own life too, a woman who is a prude would be appalled at late nights spent in partying and clubbing when the time can be used for studying or improving oneself. For these reasons, prudish men and women make something of a party-pooper since they are the ones found to be complaining most against loud music, drinking and dancing too.
- She always chooses Disney movies for your date
In keeping with her preference for the safe and morally clean, a prudish woman would probably only go for Disney movies or similar wholesome family entertainers on dates. She would dismiss any movie suggestions which come with even a whiff of the risqué like adult comedies, horror, action flicks or even rom-coms.
- She prefers safety over adventure
A prude is a person who is not only obsessive about adhering to moral and social codes of propriety but also someone who abhors any kind of uncertainty. Thus if you suggest to your girlfriend that for the next weekend you both set out for an outdoor camp or go hiking, she may flatly refuse to be involved with something like that and if you insist, she may even say that she would not be able to trust you anymore. Sticking to the beaten path is a mantra with prudish people, both in terms of social values and physical actions.
- She is quick to judge
A natural consequence of a prude’s tendency to apply her own strict values to others is that she is quick to judge. Thus people who are open about their sexual history, nonchalant about having many past lovers or those who have difference sexual orientations may invite criticism or horror from your girlfriend if she is a prude.
- No sex please
If you have been going out with your girlfriend for long and now wish to take your relationship to the next level, it is likely she will put her foot down. A prude would not only have the utmost abhorrence of the sexual act but find it morally outrageous that anyone can think of having sex before marriage. And if you tried to persuade her to change her mind, she may even label you a sex maniac and walk off.
- No sexual variety either
It is not necessary for a woman to be a virgin to be prudish in outlook. Even if you are married and have ongoing conjugal relations with your wife, she may still be a prude in bed. In this context she would refuse to explore any variety in the sexual act or love-making routine. She would probably consider any position other than the missionary one as utterly depraved and morally outrageous.
Ultimately though sexual and moral standards are a matter of personal choice. So even if your girl displays most of the above signs, bear in mind that she may appear a prude to you or in popular culture but not necessarily to everyone else – in her own code of values or those of a certain culture, upholding certain standards of behaviour may be an expression of moral living.