10 tips to pick up a woman at a night club

A nightclub is probably one of the places most conducive to picking up a woman who’s caught your fancy. To a large extent, it is one of the most likely places a woman expects to be hit on, and so she’s not totally averse to it. The ambience, mood, lighting and pleasurable haze that’s associated with a little alcohol, all combine to make picking up a woman far easier than anywhere else. And unless the woman in question is club-hopping, you have the assurance of knowing you have most of the night to win her over. Here are ten tips to help you on your way.

TIP: Read the Guide - How to Chat up Women

1. Survey the territory

Check out the nightclub and figure out the best location to plant yourself. Pick a prime spot, not too far away from all the action. It could be at the bar, which gives you the opportunity to chat up the bartender and be nice to him, in the hope he’ll give you priority later when you’re getting the lady a drink. While everybody else has to wait an inordinate time, you can impress her with your quick service, thanks to the initial groundwork you put in. Wherever you choose to be, make sure it’s not in a corner, where visibility, both in terms of seeing and being seen, is poor. You also don’t want to have to walk from one end of the room to another when you see someone you like, so make sure you’re somewhere that is centrally located.

2. Zero in on your target

Scan the club, or the area within your view, to see who catches your eye. If you happen to see two women, for instance, who both take your fancy, and one is with a group and the other single, preferably avoid the group. It is less intimidating to approach a single woman. Observe her discreetly for a little while, before making any moves. You might pick up on some cues that you could use later, either as a conversation starter or to bridge potential awkward silences.

3. Show your interest

Before approaching her, try and signal your interest by catching her eye. Or an approving glance to gauge her reaction to you. Check out her reaction. Unless you find her totally averse, persist in letting her know, even from afar, that you like what you see.

4. Don’t waste too much time

If you ponder and debate too much about whether or not you should approach her someone else might get there before you. Don’t be afraid of rejection. At the most she will not respond or give you the time of day. It’s happened to other men too, but that shouldn’t stop you from going out there and trying again. You will regret it more if you don’t. Don’t assume that she’s going to be rude or snub you outright. Most women are complimented that a guy has decided to be open about his attraction and has summoned up the courage to approach them. So even if she isn’t interested, she won’t say so right away or will at least be polite about it.

5. The direct approach

Gone are the days when standard pick up lines worked, if they ever did. Women would much rather be credited with some intelligence. They already know you’re hitting on them, so at least be upfront about it. Either ask her directly whether she’s alone and would she mind some company. Or if you have what it takes to flirt a bit, ask her a question that begs a response. Even if she doesn’t respond the way you’re hoping, or doesn’t accede to your request, use some self- deprecating humor to save face. Excuse yourself and say that you’ll just be on your way to the cloakroom to cry a couple of buckets because she’s wounded your delicate sensibilities. She may appreciate your quick wit and ability to laugh at yourself, and actually execute a turnaround and invite you to sit down.

6. Enjoy the moment

Assuming that you’re now in the enviable position of at least being in her vicinity, consolidate you position. Be attentive and have fun. Make her laugh and keep it light. Don’t try to talk all the time. Don’t think too far ahead, soak in the pleasure of the moment. Keep your eyes on her, yet don’t crowd her. Don’t use the excuse that the nightclub is packed to act like a pervert and rub up against her. Don’t take advantage of the situation. Instead, let her feel reassured with your presence by protecting her from getting jostled about the place.

7. Offer to buy her a drink

Ask her what she’s drinking and if she’s almost finished, if she’d like another one. Tell her you could make a few innovative suggestions. You could tease her into trying something new but don’t insist if she refuses. It is a good time to use innuendo to see how she reacts. You could ask her if she likes ‘quickies’ hastening to add that you’re only talking about tequila shots. The key here is to make her feel naughty and use tongue-in-cheek humor to set the mood, without making her feel threatened or cheapened by it.

8. Keep your head clear

You, on the other hand, definitely need all your wits about you. Don’t imbibe too much, even if you think you can handle your drinks. The worst experience for a woman is for a guy to start slurring and come on too strong without even being aware of it. It is a complete and total turn off. Act harmless and don’t try to impress her too much. If a woman gets comfortable with you, she’s less likely to be on her guard and more susceptible to what you have in mind.

9. Ask her to dance

If she’s enjoying a particular number and you’ve got the right vibes so far, ask her to join you on the dance floor. Avoid talking too much while dancing. Enjoy the music and let the rhythm take over. Ordinarily in a nightclub, the volume doesn’t lend itself to conversation, and it invariably becomes a screaming match, trying to make yourself heard over the music. Don’t get too intimate with her on the dance floor unless she initiates it. Let her take the lead and put as much distance between you as she feels comfortable. You could hum the lyrics, but for heaven's sake, don’t sing out loud if you can’t carry a tune!

10. Make your final move

After you’ve spent a good bit of time chatting with her, dancing and enjoying each others company, go ahead and ask her…either to have coffee with you or whether you can see her again. Don’t indicate that you expect anything; she might think you’re exacting payment for the drink you bought her. Be happy and settle for whatever she’s ready to offer, it may be her number, another date or if you’re really lucky and you’ve made an impression, you might even get to see the inside of her apartment!