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Dating a Long Time Friend
One of the most complicated ways of initiating a relationship is one that involves a turning a long time friend into a lover. You risk losing a friend but if successful you benefit from gaining a lover whom you already know as an incredible person to be with. Moreover it is much better to take a chance than continue to imagine how great it could have been between you two and suffer in silence. So here are a few tips if are still considering dating a long time friend or have already decided to take the plunge.
If you are still turning over the thought of dating a long time friend in your mind and have not asked him/her out as yet, begin by marking a distinct difference between your friendly past and romantic future. Make yourself unavailable for a short while. Stop calling and meeting him/her or even sending mails and text messages. If he/she gives you a call asking you to get in touch, wait for a couple of days before calling him/her back. Let this go on for around a month so that his/her interest is piqued. However don’t make the person feel that you are staying away because you are mad at him/her. When you do speak, be brief but pleasant. The whole point here is to confuse him/her into wondering into what is going on with your life and this confusion will make him/her spend more time thinking about you.
Pay attention to your looks
Use the time away from your friend into acquiring a new and attractive look. Pay more attention to your wardrobe and appearance. Once you slip in the role of a friend it is easy to get casual about your looks so that you may be comfortable in your sweats before him or think nothing about hugging her even if you haven’t showered that day. But when you start dating your long time friend, you want him/her to be attracted to you as a lover. Thus it is imperative that you take care of your appearance and personal hygiene. Also make sure that you work out regularly and have a healthy diet. Healthy lifestyle habits will not only lead to a fitter and more irresistible you but will benefit your own health in the long run – lover or no lover. Eventually when you both go out on a date, your partner will be sure to notice a very marked improvement in your appearance and thus be open to thinking of you in a sexual way.
Enhance your personality
Along with improving your personal style, it is also necessary to enhance your personality if you wish to turn a longtime friend into a partner. Learn a new language, join a dance class or pursue an interest which you always wanted but never had time for. Expanding your range of activities will make him/her aware that you have other interesting aspects to your personality. Moreover it will help you to have greater confidence in yourself which may eventually prove more effective than a new haircut or wardrobe to help your partner see you in a new light.
Flirt with him/her
When going out with a long time friend, it is easy to slip back into the comfort mode of your past relationship. However if you want to date him/her in a romantic sense, go on to flirt casually with your partner. Compliment her on her eyes, smile and sense of style. Lightly touch his hand or shoulder when you both are hanging out. Help him/her to notice that you are aware of her as a man or woman and not just as a friend. At the same time tease your partner a little bit on their platonic attitude and challenge them to recognize love when it is right before their eyes.
Use the past to your advantage but carefully
As a longtime friend you already know what turns your partner on. Use the inside knowledge to your advantage and remember that here you have an edge over other potential partners. If your girlfriend likes smart women, get yourself updated on world affairs or if he digs women with a sense of adventure, suggest that you both go for a hike in the mountains. And if you happen to know his/her secret desires, drop subtle hints that he/she may be pleasantly surprised to know how much you have to offer him/her.
At the same time keep in mind that your past can be a double-edged sword. Just like you know your erstwhile friend’s priorities and turn-ons in a partner, so too you are aware of the entire course of his/her former relationships. He/she may have openly discussed an ex or his/her habits with you as a friend and this history of shared confidences may lead to more than a few awkward moments between you two. Worse still, avoid using the knowledge of your partner’s past relationships to fling accusations at him/her during a fight. For instance in a heated moment, you may be angry at your partner’s untidiness and blurt out that no wonder his ex moved out after a month of staying with him. Such expressions will not only hurt your friend and partner deeply, but make it very difficult for him/her to trust you in future.
Don’t worry about the ‘chemistry’
Among the concerns about dating a longtime friend, one of the most common is worrying whether you and your partner will be attracted to each other in a sexual way. After years of platonic friendship, how can you now think sexually about each other? The thing to remember here is that everything in nature is always changing. You and your partner now are entirely different people from what you and your ‘friend’ were ten years ago. Thus at present your relationship has completely different possibilities. And in any case chemistry is highly overrated in popular culture. What a man and woman feel at first glance is merely the sexual attraction between a male and female body – there is no guarantee that this pull will translate into a fulfilling emotional or even sexual relationship in the long run. Rather the real ‘chemistry’ is developed as two people get to know each other better. You begin to feel that the air is different when he/she suddenly completes your sentences. Your thoughts get tuned to each other and you share the same outlook towards life in general. That is the kind of chemistry which changes you from deep within and takes your relationship to a whole new level.