How to Celebrate Thanksgiving as a Single Parent

Being a single parent is a daily challenge. Looking after kids, running a house, meeting deadlines at work and paying bills singlehandedly are all in a day’s work. But when holidays are around the corner, there is the added stress of making it enjoyable enough for the kids so that they don’t miss the other parent. If you too find yourself dreading the arrival of Thanksgiving, here is a brief guide to get through the holiday as a single parent.

1. Redefine what Thanksgiving signifies to your family

   The first step is to redefine what the occasion – in this case, Thanksgiving – means to you and your kids. You can figure this out by deciding on the rituals which you enjoy most and look forward to with the arrival of the season. Every family has its own practices which are longingly followed and which make the core of the joyous holiday. For Thanksgiving, perhaps your kids really like painting Thanksgiving scenes, dressing up in pilgrim costumes or polishing off slices of straight-from-the oven pumpkin pie. Decide with your kids what activities are absolutely necessary to feel that Thanksgiving is complete. You may be surprised with some of the simple and original suggestions that kids come up with and then go on to fulfill them.

   
    

2. Decide which aspects you can do without

   Redefining the significance of Thanksgiving for your family can help you to avoid the non-essential aspects. Go over with your kids on those Thanksgiving activities which if skipped, would not be missed this year. These may range from having a cookie-exchange party for neighborhood kids to putting up pilgrim-themed decorations around the house. Doing away with the non-essentials will save you from the hassle of following rituals which in any case don’t mean much to you or your kids. Moreover it will also help you to avoid unnecessary expenditure which can in fact be put to better use like buying books for the kids or putting them into the college fund.
    

3. Modify activities which create stress

   If you find yourself looking forward with dread at certain aspects of Thanksgiving like buying presents for extended family members or whipping up a home-cooked seven course Thanksgiving dinner, reconsider how the rituals may be modified to make them less stressful for a single parent like you while keeping the spirit intact. For instance instead of slaving away for the past five days to prepare a sumptuous dinner spread, consider limiting the courses to only those appreciated by your closest family members. Or sound out your guests on bringing in the appetizers and dessert while you take charge of the rest of the dinner. This way you can make your work more manageable without doing away with a ritual which perhaps forms the focus of Thanksgiving for you.
    

4. It’s alright to depart from the traditional

   For a single parent like you, Thanksgiving , or any holiday for that matter, should be about what you and your kids enjoy most. If this means doing away with a traditional but unnecessary ritual, so be it. For instance don’t go through the trouble of making a whole roast turkey if your kids don’t enjoy it. Rather let them choose - and help you to make - a dinner of their choice. It will not only save you money but will also save your freezer from smelling of bird carcass for the next three weeks.
    

5. Do something new

   Why not start a new Thanksgiving ritual this year? Exploring new activities will not only reduce the expectations of tradition but also help you and your kids to discover newer ways to enjoy the holiday. Visit the library a couple of days before Thanksgiving and pick a book on pilgrim or Thanksgiving themes. Use the day to read the book together with your kids. Or if you have teens, ask what movie they would like to go to and then take them out. Doing something new will add more excitement to the holiday and will signify the beginning of a new tradition.
    

6. Invite other single parents

   If you happen to know well other single parents from your kid’s school or the church, call them over on Thanksgiving. Maybe you can even plan a Thanksgiving meal together by dividing up the courses and deciding who brings what. This will not only help you to save on expenses but also enable you to spend time with other small families you can relate to.
    

7. Keep a track on spending

   As the sole provider of your family, you have to be careful on how much you spend on gifts. Avoid buying presents on credit. Examine your intentions behind making presents and include only those people who you know make a positive contribution to your family life in the circle of holiday gift-giving. Finally set guidelines on how much you are going to spend on gifts for your own kids. Let them know that there are always going to be parents who will spend more on their kids but the focus on Thanksgiving is to be grateful for what we have.
    

8. Do something you like

   If your kids happen to be visiting their other parent for Thanksgiving, think up of something nice for yourself. Doing something you actually enjoy on this day will help you to avoid the holiday blues. If you like being around people, call up your best pal and plan to go for a movie, some window shopping and dinner. Better still, decide on a potluck dinner with other single parents and share your Thanksgiving with other families. Again if you like being on your own, go for the church service or make use of this precious time to catch up on your reading, gardening or painting. Do what makes you happy and you will surely create pleasant memories for yourself on Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving Day might seem an oxymoron for single-parent families. With an overworked and overwrought parent striving to the best for the family all alone and children missing out on the security and love of two parents, there might not seem much to be thankful for. And yet the very fact that the parent and kids have each other to love and cherish is a blessing. So make use of the above suggestions and you are sure to have a fun-filled and meaningful Thanksgiving with friends and family this year.